"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." ... 2 Corinthians 12:10
Once inside this one, I saw crowds of milling folks so I immediately vanished up the stairs where a woman and I stared at an entire bed with an audience of scary 1920's dolls with eyes aimed at us. "I'd be afraid to sleep in a room with those dolls," she said, shivering.
But what was worse? Downstairs. Oh, people were jammed into boxy (boxy!) rooms and everything was brown-- brown carpet and drapes and tile and some rooms had brown paneled walls. People stepped sideways, trying to grab at things and when I knelt to the carpet beside two boxes of books, I felt I'd done a foolish, dangerous thing. And did I even venture into the one-doorway kitchen? Nope. My fluttery heart told me, "Go in there and you'll be forever trapped in that box!"
Ack! That "must get out of here before you start quivering" feeling began circling inside my head. I saw too many people in too few square feet surrounded by too much clutter and too many boxy rooms so I went and found (relaxed, calm) Tom in the center of what resembled Olivia de Havilland's snake pit.
I told him, "I've got to leave. Now. I'll meet you in the car."
Though it takes an opera-house-sized crowd for Tom to start falling apart, he understood, smiled, and said he'd be there soon.
This doesn't happen to me every time, just sometimes. And you know? I don't mind it much because it helps me better understand my fellow crowd-fraidy-cats. The quivering makes me more sympathetic to you who know exactly what I'm describing here.
I mean, months ago I told a relative how I almost never go to WalMart because there's too much stuff and too many people and after 15 minutes I'm practically racing my cart to the check stand, the rest of my list be darned.
I was serious, but she laughed. And then stated she loves shopping at WalMart.
What I want is my weaknesses--the ones God doesn't deliver me from--to contain some value. I want them to make me empathize with you and encourage you that you're not alone and you'll be ok. We both will be. And that just because we have weaknesses, it doesn't mean we are 100% weak throughout. Rather, God can show Himself strong by keeping us together when, without Him, we'd have crumpled into a heap. And we can do anything He asks us to do. Anyway.
This experience must have really gotten to me (took awhile to calm down at home, even) for I had a rare nightmare that night. Someone had tricked me into becoming trapped in a white (and well-lit, fortunately) garage and I couldn't believe I'd not realized what was happening until it was too late. Yikes. (Fortunately I awoke soon after the door shut behind me.)
"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" ... Galations 6:2.
Thanks so much for praying for Naomi's trip from Nashville! She arrived here at 2:30 this morning(!) safe and sound.
I'm enjoying this free kindle book: How Much Joy Can You Stand? How to Push Past Your Fears and Create Your Dreams. Although (disclaimer) this is not a Christian book and I skipped over her paragraph about seeing a psychic. Alas.
I'm able to identify with so much of it, though, especially when I apply it to writing in this blog. (I'll just let that stand all mysterious-sounding.) :)