Know Thyself. Heal Thyself.

             An old neighborhood park near us. Felt like I was strolling around inside a painting.

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 I went through a rather hard time emotionally last week (don't ask) and my summer was busy, involving actual manual labor (!) and so I'm thinking I need a vacation. Badly. 

For too long I have felt switched On.

But, well, Tom's working 12 night shifts in a row (sigh) so it's not like we'll be taking a 'real' vacation soon. 

So what's a lady to do? Take her own vacation, at home, her own way--that's what.

It's allowed, really--you just have to know how. You must know yourself, you must know what you need and what rejuvenates and frees you or else you'll walk through your days, your life, well, like a tub of emotional jello.

So I'm making a list, checking it twice (heh) and for the next week I'll give myself permission to do minimum household chores and to find maximum enjoyment from these activities (or non-activities, as the case may be):

I'll read. Some of my waiting-till-winter books, even. I'll sit in my tiny library at the top of the stairs and browse through magazines and cookbooks which whisk me back to 1940 or earlier.

I'll remind myself to wear aprons while I sweep the front porch or cook. I'll sit on the porch when the weather warms a bit and stare at our pretty red door (I so recommend painting your front door a color which thrills you.)

I'll sit at our sunny dining room window, drink decaf and think. Daydream. Recall who I am aside from an encourager.

I'll walk through neighborhoods I've been meaning to see by foot. I'll take lots of pictures, maybe post them online, maybe not.

I'll release myself from feeling I must write in this blog. I'll take a few days off from writing anything, even from sending email (reminding myself the world will not careen into blackness if people don't hear from me). I'll stop checking my blog or email or Facebook, like, every half hour.

I'll drink coffee at our supermarket and peruse a couple magazines and listen to the retro music they play there. Perhaps, while Tom's sleeping, I'll watch a movie at the 1940's theater in town.

I'll play that same retro music here and perhaps mix it up with some classical and Christian pop, too, variety being the spice of Life (and all that). I'll avoid any news which I don't have the Grace to bear.

And best of all, I'll grasp a stronger awareness of God. I'll lean against His shoulder wherever I go, whatever I choose to do, and look up into His face, His loving eyes, and bask. Just bask.

It's wisdom to know how to avoid ones own burn-out, when to take a break. But it's silly to wait until somebody else says, "Hey, Debra! Take a week off, ok?" (Like anyone would actually say that.) I know myself best, know what threatens my sanity and what keeps it healthy--and it's up to me to find places where I can go to get strong again. So that I can keep going and going for as long as God needs me down here.

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"Be still and know that I am God." ... Psalm 46:10

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Sometimes we must give ourselves permission to be happy while the rest of the world isn't. And sometimes we must give ourselves permission to go on vacation while others are working. Otherwise, we'll become sick along with the other sick people... and be unable to help anyone.

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