Clarity

.

I awoke this morning thinking about Clarity.

How, when I've lived through years without something I needed or wanted, it was often because I was all foggy about Clarity.

Instead of "letting my requests be made known," I've, instead, whined and complained about not having what I wanted. I've looked at what others had and just wished I had that, too. Or I've made mental lists of things I don't have and then gone around frowning.

None of that is Clarity.

Instead of just telling Tom what I would like for my birthday, anniversary or Christmas, I used to turn those times into a test for him to see if he could read my mind. A final exam to see how well he knew me. How well he had listened to my complaining over the previous months.

Tests are not clarity. And again, neither is complaining.

I have walked through Life too much in the fog of vagueness. Wanting something, but not knowing quite what. Being too busy or distracted to sit down and get concrete pictures in my mind of what I'd like to have or where I'd like to go or what I'd like to do--and thus, not being able to write things down. How can I refer back to a non-existent list of vagueness?

I have been sick, and instead of praying for healing, just whined about how lousy I felt. I've forgotten to ask God what He wants me to have or be or do, and then pray accordingly. Specifically. Instead, I have blamed Him for what I felt was missing, when in reality, I wasn't clear on what I was asking. Or I wasn't asking for the right things.

Or more likely, more tragically, I'd only thought I'd asked for something, but in reality, I'd only complained about not having it. Or wished for it instead of praying.

God is not a wish-granter. He is a prayer-answerer.

Clarity. Clarity. Clarity.

May I always remember.

***

"...but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." ... Philippians 4:6

"You have not, because you ask not." ... James 4:2