Weaknesses

Need something to be thankful for? You can be thankful that you weren't at my house yesterday afternoon.

Argh.

The three of us had a lively discussion, otherwise known as a big old, ugly, screaming fight. And of all things, it concerned what to do with Skittles after she has been put to sleep. But then, is it ever really about what you're arguing about? According to Dr. Phil--no. According to me--no. 

It's about things much deeper--things which are released, like steam, under heat and pressure. Junk you hold onto, inside, way past the proper time to let it go. Unforgiveness which has become rancid.

And that was obvious yesterday because all sorts of things came dredging up from murky bottoms of years gone by.

We all have strengths. We all have weaknesses.

It's good to know what your greatest weakness is. Why? Because you must totally lean on God when you're faced with it. Because then you can get aggressive with it when it rises. You can ask God to do whatever He wants--even though you know it will hurt. But that hurt is never as great as the one which comes after you've totally lost control.

My greatest weakness? (And Tom agrees with this.) Becoming angry when I'm not allowed to finish my sentences. Oh, that's when I lose control--when I'm cut-off, silenced. When I'm trying to explain how I feel, but you hush me. 

For you own sake, never do that, ok? 

I mean, good grief--here I am a quiet, sane, nice person, but just tell me to shut-up and I become a raving, wild-eyed, yelling maniac.

(You think I'm kidding?)

But God has something better for me. Even if this is one of the weaknesses I will always have, He at least wants to change me so that I become less volatile during those rare times. 

He asks that I keep dying to self so there is less of a need within me to defend myself.

Trust me, since yesterday afternoon satan has reminded me of how far I have left to go to be godly. But oh, how good of God to remind me of how far He's helped me come.

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