Friday, February 25, 2005

The Queen of Neverland


There is a different kind of Neverland...

In fact, when I was a teenager I was crowned Queen of Neverland.

No, really.

I'd race upstairs and throw myself across my bed and sob whenever my kingdom appeared to be collapsing. And into my pillow, between sobs, I'd whisper oaths like:

"I'll NEVER be happy again!"
"I'll NEVER be able to do what I want!"
"I'll NEVER trust anyone again!"

I'm amazed my bed held together all those years, what with all my flinging leaps, and all.

I remained Queen of Neverland even into my 30's. But I didn't fling as often (slammed a few doors, though.) And as a wife and mother, my sobby oaths changed:

"I'll NEVER have any time to myself!"
"I'll NEVER have any money of my own!"
"He will NEVER change!"
"Life will NEVER be the same!"
"My dreams will NEVER be fulfilled!"


But one gets sick of being Queen of Neverland.

If she's blessed/smart/sensible, one gets sick of being Queen before she turns 40. I've met other Queens of Neverland who are older than forty--they are sad ladies, indeed. Craggy, harsh-faced creatures with tarnished crowns from their spilling tears.

This former Queen of Neverland gladly stepped down from her throne when messengers were sent to my royal court yard with this message:

"Be it unto you, even as you believe." ... Matthew 15:28

When I saw how all my nevering was directing my paths toward the same never-never, negative-negative destination in Neverland, I thought, "Well, no wonder I'm still Queen in this sad place!" And then I declared a new decree:

"Never say never."

And I had to leave Neverland because I'd outgrown it.

I learned a new language and began living a whole new life. Watched some dreams come true and got happy with simple pleasures--for they are everywhere in this new land--

"The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places..." ... Psalm 16:6

And I've not wasted one single day missing my Queenly days of Neverland.

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