Wanting More

Years ago I'd sit at home on my couch and want more friends. Friends who'd go out for coffee with me at the drop of a floppy-brimmed hat. Friends who weren't too busy. Friends who had time for deep conversations with me on the phone or my front porch.

I wanted a lot of friends.

I also wanted more stuff. Cool stuff like vintage furniture and old-fashioned knick-knacks born with names like Jade-Ite, Mc Coy. And I wanted old magazines from the 1920's, ones with banners like McCalls, The American and Good Housekeeping.

I wanted a lot of stuff.

And I wanted a Mission in Life. A real big one that would take over all my days and require all my strength and make me look strong and noble.

But it seemed something always kept me from getting what I thought I really wanted. The friends and stuff were both iffy and elusive. Hard to find--both of them. The Mission in Life was invisible--I felt it was hiding from me. So mostly I felt frustrated and upset with Life.

I was disappointed a lot.

But then I started wanting more of God. More than friends. More than stuff and more than The Mission. I went on a passionate journey because I heard that people have about as much of God as they really want.

And I wanted a lot.

Well, the years of that initial journey were long and partly hard. The longer the journey, the more heavy baggage I had to let drop in the sand if I wished to continue. That required wanting even more of God--and even the wanting comes from Him. He gave more desire when I asked for more. And He replaced the parts of self I left lying on jungle paths and across high bridges--He gave me treasure in exchange for my junk.

So I continued--with even more passion.

But mostly, the journey was incredible. Some days I even stood on holy ground--and came away changed.

And years later, there's a funny part. Now I have more friends than I can keep up with. And so much cool stuff that I must give some away. And a Mission in Life which keeps me just-busy-enough-but-not-too-much.

But those aren't the things I want most. Those things don't bring me true joy or contentment. And since they're no longer my lifeblood, God can trust me not to get carried away downstream back to the desolate place where the journey began.

No, The Treasure I brought home from my journey is the best thing in my Life.


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