As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!". ... 1 Corinthians 12:20,21
"Oh, that we'd feel grateful for what humbles us."
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Ol' Debra enjoys unsolved mysteries type of stuff, but not this one.
Ugh.
In my quest to darken the too-light font of my blog posts from 10+ years ago, last week I realized something dreadful.
My early posts were wordy, wordy, wordy and written as though I'd forgotten every English composition class I'd sat through in high school and college.
Scarily, though, I believed I was using those lessons.
Man, what happened? I'd spend one to two hours on those posts, but doing what? Thinking what? Where was my head that I thought those posts were polished, tight, ready for your eyes?
This mystery made me queasy for days.
Oh, what I wrote was okay (gratefully, I'm still--mostly--satisfied with that), but the way I wrote it? Ghastly. Rambling. Trite and rife with juvenile composition errors.
Oooo, this shook me with self-doubt. (What else am I doing/believing is correct, but isn't?) So I asked God, "What was the problem back then?"
Basically He replied, "Pride. You believed you didn't need to study writing, listen to advice and practice like everyone else just because I was speaking through you."
But gah. I know (now) there's no skipping steps and cheating allowed with God and oh my. I recalled how other writers spoke of spending more time polishing, tweaking, than writing their original pieces. I didn't need to do that, right?
Ouch. Sounds horrible now and last weekend I struggled with condemnation badly, like, for the first time in years.
But God kept saying keep it at conviction. Be humbled and grow, learn and change. Allow this lesson to spread across other of your Life and ministry landscapes.
And I can do that. I can move on, remembering this:
We need each other. Forget the You-and-me-against-the-world lie. Instead, we need what others were sent to inspire, teach and lift us up in prayer and aid to do. God won't allow anyone to go it absolutely alone: those places are foggy breeding grounds for pride.
And although I can't comprehend how I forgot my high school writing basics when I began this blog-- I forgave myself. Learned from my past, lessons for my future and now I'm editing, with Grace, hundreds of old posts. Enjoying it, actually, though oh dear; this will require months' of work.
Yet whatever God asks me to do? It floats down with a joy which translates to strength, which leads to a consistent, joyful inner life. Oh, how I need Him, Grace--and you.
Oh, how we all need each other.
You're not a writer? I hope you'll parallel this to an area of your life where you tend to 'go it alone' in a stubborn, independence fashion.
"When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the other--so that his hands remained steady till sunset." ... Exodus 17:12
We'll never, this side of Heaven, understand everything. That's where trust enters. True trust requires unanswered questions and leads to an 'anyway peace'.
When we seek for connection, we restore the world to wholeness. Our seemingly separate lives become meaningful as we discover how truly necessary we are to each other.
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Had to laugh at what I shared via Facebook--
Yes, I'm easily amused. 
Saw a post on a local group about keeping your fur babies inside because hawks were circling.
Saw a post on a local group about keeping your fur babies inside because hawks were circling.
One commenter asked, "What is a fur baby?"
Someone answered: "A small werewolf child."
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Oh, my colorful Bohemian side likes these--
(Yes, a bit busy. Humor me.) シ
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The posts that I was speaking of? Ones from 2004 to around 2008.
And now I must give a seriously huge thanks to those of you who've read here even during those early years when my writing style was--if not garbage--something close. ツ
I appreciate your hanging in there with me!
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6 comments:
Well even what we may be embarrassed about and think is not so good, God can still use for good you know. And I know he has! Because I’ve been inspired and blessed by your writings. And many times considered them part of my daily devotions. So do what you must but don’t be so hard on your former self girl! God has blessed them!
Ditto to Yellowhouse Grandma's comments! Debra, it's a wonderful thing for us to grow...to evolve. You've been faithful to write consistently, and you (with God's help) have become increasingly skilled. He takes every thing we give him and uses it for good. You've given much to others and we're richer because of it. Thank you!
I just wanted to say that I never saw anything wrong with your posts way back when. And if you feel yours were wordy with juvenile errors, I'd hate to think about how mine sounded! I used to blog as well and wordy? Oh yeah, I most certainly was but then too, I wrote my blog posts kind of like I write letters, I write them just like I talk. lol
Your posts couldn't have been all that bad because to this day I still have some of them saved and I think the oldest one is from March 2007! The message is still the same and is still relevant today as well so all was not in vain. (Hugs) Keep sharing, my friend!
Honey I have been coming here forever it seems. You are part of my life. Your writings have inspired me many a time. I know I have read the posts from those years. They spoke to me. You were using your God given talent to write. It showed. We are all growing and changing always. Never be embarrassed that you were out there writing and communicating as best you could. As you read what others said. They were Great to us. !! :-))) Many times I stop and remember a thought you have planted in my mind and it has been a blessing. God is good and He has been with you then as He is Now and you know it too. We can feel His presence in your writing thoughts. Thank you ! Sarah
Well said, Sarah! :)
A very special thanks to each of you for your encouraging thoughts! Although it remains a mystery to me how, in the early 2000's, I forgot everything about writing which I'd previously learned, I *did* relearn some valuable lessons which humbled me so hey, it's turned into a good thing. Again, thanks so much for letting me know this blog has blessed each of you! That means more than you know. Blessings, Debra
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