Thursday, June 27, 2019

The Shock When You Realize 'This Dream Ain't Comin' True'

"And he gives grace generously. As the Scriptures say, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”   ... James 4:6


I didn't tell you something.

Twice this year I sent Tom links to local (nearly perfect)houses for sale and both times he wrote, "We should go for it! Want me to set up an appointment for when I get off work today?"

But in each case I emailed back, "Nah. When you get home I'll show you my Why We Cannot Move list. But thanks, anyway, for considering it."

Sigh. And both houses cost about what we'd get for ours. Cheap.  シ

For the nearly 8 years we've lived at Hobbit Cottage, 4 of those I've imagined moving to a blank canvas house (with storage!) so I could start all over decorating-wise. 

Remember those scenes in It's A Wonderful Life where Mary's up on a ladder painting, wallpapering, having a marvelous time? Well, for 37 years (or so) that was me. And as I've visited the earliest pages of my blog so to tweak them, I've watched from doorways that younger Debra up on her trusty aluminum step-stool ladder and felt, well, awe (she did what in just one day?).

And sadness, also. That Debra? She's not here anymore. Today she's unable to decorate her little heart out. She just can't.

And Tom needs another shoulder surgery (plus, his scoliosis and herniated discs aren't exactly better) and if we moved, even with professional movers, he'd help too much. Like last time, back in 2011 when for two weeks afterward, he was ill.

There's more, but you know, it's that part about staying here for Tom's sake which finally set me down at acceptance. I told God, "If it's for Tom that we stay here, at least for now? Why, I can do that. Grace cushions those sacrifices I make for him. Love makes them not hard for me." 

Also, God reminded me of those days I work a bit harder and by 5:00 pm I'm stiff, bent in half, complaining. And suddenly I felt extremely grateful for our Hobbit Cottage. That we are here, already. Safe. Entrenched, yeah, but over time, we can 'unentrench' ourselves. Slowly, at our back-saving convenience. 

And so finally--finally--the new house dream, died. And I mean died-died. Took 4 long years (and yeah, often painful ones as they are whenever we want what God doesn't want for us), but it stopped breathing.

Oh, perhaps some year we'll make one more move, like, into an assisted living apartment. Yet at that time ol' Debra won't be up on any ladders slapping paint onto walls there, either. 

And this is what I'm still learning in layers: 

Some Life seasons are easy to release, yet others are hard, especially when they lasted decades, were huge parts of who God made us and kept us happily going even during stormy times.

But when we truly release them at God's request? He replaces them with sweet new dreams, ones which even now, yes! We can still do, and with a joy only Grace provides. 

Grace. She splashes color, happiness and contentment over everything God calls us to do. Yes, even now during these later autumn years.

And oh, to follow her so closely we can reach for her strong fingers at anytime we need her help.

Respect your seasons! Pay attention to their details, do what you have the energy, grace and promptings to do while you still can.

Or as Ann Kiemel Anderson said--
"I would have missed out on so many things in Life if I had not simply done them." 

"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keeps the law, happy is he."   ... Proverbs 29:18


My dear friend, Wilma, said this Garfield cartoon reminded her of me--

--and I feel incredibly honored, not to mention, understood. 

Brighten the corner where you are, Everyone! And this, oh yes, remember this--

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you." ...Isaiah 26:3

(Thank-you much, Wilma!)


Okay, now this new tv ad was just too cute!

(Did you know you can be Jerry Mathers' and Tony Dow's friend at Facebook? They're pretty cool.)  ツ


                                                               My Prayer Garden.

"Master," said John, "we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we tried to stop him, because he is not one of us." "Do not stop him," Jesus said, "for whoever is not against you is for you." ... Luke 9:49,50


Anonymous said...

Only a few months ago I could still get up and down my three step step stool to get into that high shelf. Not now. I can get up but my knees make strange sounds and it is Hard to get up. With our only family work helpers also now with physical problems I wonder if those top shelf things will ever be gone through. :) let alone the curtains taken down and up on our big windows. So now a house with nice big high shelfs for storage is actually a negative thing. Better that they had remained empty. I will perhaps hire someone and have them only do those chores and clear them out totally and then breath a sigh of relief the that is done. When we moved in 45 years ago there were children's books the last owners left up there. I wish that was all there now! :-) It seems so fast we go from ages to wobbly to strength to less strength. I was told by a therapist my legs are strong and she was surprised at my age that they were. But I know now one leg is less so and so I should work to balance so both are better before that leads to something else.

Yes dreams are hard to leave behind. i have in boxes many linens and decorating things I knew when I got them what I wanted to do with them..but they did not happen but I thought would still. But no. Now is the time to give them to someone else. why keep something that makes you sad when you look at them? Someone else night actually use them. :-) You love reading them. I am actually glad of the anythings I gave away each time I have. Hard to do at first but if I had all of that + what I still have ...whew,...too much. And now it would feel over whelming to have to do it all at this point in my life. I best to remember this and give much more away before I get older. LOl... It was good to hear from you Debra...always is. Sarah

Pam said...

Oh Debra, thank you for this post. I've been trying to accept some new realities in life. Sometimes it is difficult, though. I have truly enjoyed working hard to create/maintain a family home, but it seems that the time has come for me to realize that God has "sweet new dreams" for me (love what you said about learning in layers!). If I struggle to hold onto to the old dreams, I won't be able to grab onto God's new plans for me. This is what I'm trying to learn right now. Sometimes God brings his truth gradually, but at other times, he seems to drop a bomb to get my attention. I can smile now, but one month ago today, hubby and I were moving some furniture from a second home we had rented (another experiment...). We rented a u-haul trailer and it seemed straight forward. All we had to move was a table, four chairs, two recliners and a bed. Heck, a few years ago, I probably could have done that by myself, with one hand tied behind my back. Yep, I was a steamroller blessed with physical strength and lots of drive. That was then, but now? Not so much. I tried so hard, to do my share, but my husband literally carried the load on that move. As we drove the loaded uhaul to our farm, I told hubby that I'm probably all done with the heavy lifting of life. Since then, I've told my kids, too. As the days go by, grace is helping me receive and accept the truth. Who knows, I might actually start to enjoy having others help with the heavy lifting...especially if I get to boss them around!!!

Deborah Raney said...

Such good thoughts, as always, Debra. And yes, we're in the midst of a move and it is SOOOO much harder than it was just 6 and a half years ago. :( I do love that cartoon, and yes, I can see why it made your friend think of you. That's a high compliment too.

Debi @ Tuesdays Child said...

Debra ... Sister, you may be getting older a bit than you were but you're far from being in "later" autumn years, I assure you!

The building I live in has people here from their 30's (most aren't that young though), all the way up to the mid 90's. Now the ones in their mid 90's, them I would call "Later autumn years" but not someone your age my friend.

As for myself, I just turned 63 in May and I think of this season as being more an early autumn one. We have a long way to go!

Betsy said...

Good Morning Debra. A very insightful post as always. We are still struggling with what to do. We know we're not staying here where we have no family at all. After retirement do we buy a motorhome or take our trailer and travel? Do we buy a condo or move into an apartment or a house? We don't know. Another three years or so to decide, but I know physically I just can't do what I used to do. It still frustrates me and I haven't accepted it well. This post makes me think.

Debra said...

Thanks, Sarah! And thank-you for sharing your ideas and changes. I'm finding I must think of things in new ways and do them differently than I've always done, as well. It's adding a new dimension of interest to my life, that's for certain! :)

You're most welcome, Pam! "Accepting new realities' is such a great way to phrase this time in life. Isn't it a little wild the surprising changes which come along so slowly sometimes we didn't even see them until one day, poof? :) Sounds like you're learning to handle them well!

Hey Deb! You always know just the right thing to say. I feel so blessed that you liked the cartoon, as well, and I do thank you for your compliment. <3

Debi---aww... it made me a little sad that my phrasing bothered you. I hope you got more from my post than that. What I meant was that 2019 is 'later' than my 2004 - 2013 posts (and previous decorating life) and now Tom and I are in our autumn years. That's all. :)

Betsy--isn't it crazy how things go along one way for decades then suddenly it's like the road suddenly has some right and left turns which we must decide to take? Thank-goodness we can listen to God's still small voice saying, "Take this one,", right? :)

Thanks, Everyone! Blessings, Debra

Debi @ Tuesdays Child said...

Debra, oh my goodness - I wasn't upset even a little bit by your posting anything! When I wrote that, I just didn't want you dating yourself to be much older than you are is all. If my comment come over anything but a light hearted point of view, it was not meant to be critical at all and if it come across that way, I so apologize.

Debra said...

Oh Debi! I knew that's what you meant and that you were just trying to get me to 'think younger'. I wasn't mad, I knew you weren't mad. :) I was just hoping your take-away from my post was more of a personal encouragement than that. That's all. :) Thanks so much for commenting here and reading! Your comments always make me smile. Blessings, Debra