Tuesday, February 09, 2016

Kinda Floundering. Kinda Not.

"For He knows how we are formed, He remembers that we are dust."  ... Psalm 103:14



Only 80% of good ol' Debra is back. This flu has shaken and well, discouraged me. I imagined myself stronger, healthier than this.

I keep giving myself permission to rest, recuperate and let some housework and Internet stuff, go. You know, as I've often instructed you. Then minutes later I jump up and accomplish something anyway. Things undone tend to undo me, my head-peace. 

And that's not good. I am, we all are, more than what we do. Who we are and Who we know (and our relationship with Him) matters most.

I think Naomi's being here is part of my self-imposed problem. Things she used to quip as a teenager about my being 'only a housewife' haunt me in my current weakened state and when she comes downstairs, the temptation to jump up and look busy infuses me. She usually leaves around 1:00 ish and I do relax more then, well, until the time draws near for Tom to return home. Then it's back to work for me so that things will appear just right around here (you know, so to remain that good little Proverbs 31 wife. Er hem.).

Yeah, I should be able to take a couple weeks off. I know. But nearly 5 years had passed since I'd been sick and I'd forgotten what these limitations felt like and the changes they carry. Ugh.

But the good part? It's humbled me a bit. Reminded me that my energy on Normal Days is a gift. That I should be satisfied with what God has me doing, even if it feels so small, so daily. And to always remember His plans amount to great things, over years, one tiny, obedient step at a time--and taking some days off won't ruin The Big Picture.

What God thinks about me is the truest, factual thing, and that's what should guide my steps, my hours. Not insecurities.

And it's also reminded me how I need to really care and pray for others when they're ill. For you.

So many lessons relearned! I'm thinking these two weeks haven't been wasted. At all.

 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily burdened [by religious rituals that provide no peace], and I will give you rest [refreshing your souls with salvation]. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me [following Me as My disciple], for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest (renewal, blessed quiet) for your souls.  For My yoke is easy [to bear] and My burden is light.”   ... Matthew 11:28-30


Years ago I shared a cool article with you about a Parisian apartment opened after 70 years, but here's the more expanded story. Some awesome photos there.


Oh, and I put away my homemade flowerpot heater. All that time lying on the couch, I realized I missed seeing actual flames, even just candle ones, in our fireplace.

So now I'm back to this:

(It's all nicer in softer light.)

When we discover what we like best and find ways to bring it into our life, we become closer to finding our true self.


Ooo!  Some songs make everything feel better. This one just played on my radio.



Judy said...

Ugh. So sorry this is dragging on for you.

Living on Less Money Blog said...

I'm so sorry you are still not back to full health. It sounds as if the Lord is using every bit of it, though. I love how He works ALL things together for our good and His glory! Stopping to pray for you now.

Pam said...

Debra, this stuff is sure dragging on for you, but you've allowed the Lord to whisper His truth to you. We ARE dust, and sometimes it's upsetting to realize just how frail we can be. Try to rest and let your family help you. Will be praying for you! Sending hugs and encouragement your way!!