Oh, it was for some weeks. But then I began editing The Farm Years blog posts and all my whining and complaining words blew me away. I hadn't remembered it being that bad. Like most people, I guess mostly I remember the good and see myself in a better light. (Uh-oh.)
Those posts were like seeing Debra without Grace and ack! She was awful.
And yes, she was real and she 'was what she was' during those years and honesty is good and it still helps people and --.
I know, I know. But all these weeks since returning to those farm years posts, I'm still reeling and haven't found the strength or desire to return.
So the whole project is on hold.
You know how I'm always talking about Grace here? How she helps me write this blog and clean my house and mow the lawn and encourage people and be more patient with relatives and friends and with Grace comes strength and desire to keep going? Well, I've learned how to recognize when she's stepped away or when she was never there to begin with ...
... and Grace is not here, at least at this moment, to help me with that book. So I refuse to touch it.
And it's ok. Honestly.
We all must live and learn and step out of the boat to try walking on water, to discover if God is around to hold us up--or not. And long ago I decided that if I'm alone, trying to force myself to stay afloat, then I'll probably drown (fail, miss God's plan, however you wish to phrase it). I want no part of Debra On Her Own, no trying to mimic anyone else, but rather, to be found only where God has brought me, Himself.
Anything else will never be good enough and a huge, messy waste of time.
"The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than ." ... Ecclesiastes 7:8
"And from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." ... John 1:16
Am I saying I'll never write a book? No, I'm just saying that--at this time--I'm content with writing in this blog because Grace is still here to keep me at it, joyfully. Nearly ten years and counting ...
The Savingstar Friday freebie is a roll of Scott bathroom tissue. The Healthy Offer is 20 percent off of loose tomatoes.
Free Kindle books:
The Anti-Procrastination Manual
Dinner for Two
Oh, and this morning I found the book, South of Superior, at Dollar Tree. Looks good, but we shall see what we shall see. (It's 10.99 for a Kindle copy--oh my!)