Sunday, July 06, 2014
Choosing First Love
"You feel the way you feel because you think the way you think." ... Joyce Meyer
My, my, my. That's the kind of reality I began accepting about myself 20 years ago and found, wow ... stop making excuses and you go places you never thought you'd reach.
Back in Time when Tom took occasional business trips, I'd be fine the first three (or so) days, but then I'd allow my brain to go all sappy. I'd dwell on how fun and comforting it is to have him around and how all my friends' husbands were still home, but now poor ol' me was all by myself. (And let's draw the curtain over where that led, for it was a soggy, gloomy place.).
But now? These years later when Tom's trips are much longer and much farther away-- I'm fine. Contented. Happy that God's still here as much as He always is. And He's not making plans to leave, either.
Of course, at odd moments, the temptation arises to wander back to Soggy, Gloomy Land where swamps of self-pity bubble everywhere. But now the very second I realize where I'm headed, I stop! And remind myself of this verse:
"Do not let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated). You believe in adhere to trust in rely on God; believe in adhere to trust in rely also on Me." ... John 14:1
Years ago it hit me: if I'd sunk into my couch all troubled and miserable, it was because I'd let myself become like that. Jesus had told me not to, had given me strength to not go there, but I'd labeled it all as an "I can't help it" and chose to go there anyway.
"I can't help it" keeps us babies. I've seen where excuses will take me. But if we want to grow-up, we must give-up what holds us back.
And what do I want more than self-pity (or bathing in unforgiveness or anger or disappointment)? God's incredible, loving presence which remains even when people walk away or turn all mean or take a plane into the sky.
Over and over I choose to fling away the self-imposed garbage and return to Presence. To Love, of which there is nothing greater. Love, which makes my home, my heart, feel very full.
"Look how far you have fallen from your first love! Turn back to me again..." from Revelation 2
" ... neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." ... Romans 8:39
"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing." ... Zephaniah 3:17
Naomi is even now flying back to Nashville from Germany with her band. Any prayers about their safety would be appreciated... thanks so much!