Conviction comes with much love and hope. Thank-goodness for that.
It's in the darkness of the night while lying upon my bed with no distractions that God convicts me of, well, sin and of righteousness. Like watching film, He takes me through the day, pointing to where I went right and where I went wrong. Again, with much love and ever so much patience.
And lately? He showed me I've not spent enough alone time. Now, I knew that, but I can muddle along while knowing something is wrong without making changes to correct it. I'm good at that, good at learning to live with the feeling that "something just ain't quite right."
He and I are working on that, too.
Hence, the tweaking. I'm no longer going all que sera sera because Tom is always home and I cannot have my eight (or more) hours alone as I once did. No, when God tells you to do a thing, He makes the way to do it. He is The Way, after all.
So rather than just going with the flow of my present life and watching tv at the drop of a proverbial hat or sitting here at the computer while Tom sits at his five feet away ... and rather than complaining that there are too many meals to make now and too many dishes and clothes to wash, I've hooked into God's ways and made changes.
I cook when He says cook--and oh! He knows the best time to do that. We have dinner now for lunch and Tom has leftovers for dinner while I have something simpler like cereal or toast. And that is so much better.
And I have "office time" more frequently, which means I sit at our hoosier cabinet when God tells me, sit. Oh, how I need hours alone! And God, having made me that way, knows how to get those hours for me. And then up and away from my office I go, at peace, throughout the day.
Go to the computer when He directs, He says, not when I'm bored and can't (won't) think of something better. Watch the X-Files when He gives permission, not every time Tom is watching them.
God keeps me out of ruts and inside variety, instead. When I follow His lead, I'm amazed that there's plenty of time for everything, the fun stuff and not-so-fun. But when I lead myself? Oh dear, the day turns all fruitless and pathetic. You know, where instead of seeing how much I can accomplish I, instead, see how little I can do and still keep up.
Hmm.... Maybe this only makes sense to me. Maybe I'm just thinking aloud. But if my tweaking my way into obedience helps anyone, well, that's all that matters.
God calls us to follow Him to mission fields like Africa and India, yes. But He also calls us to follow Him around the house, the job, the neighborhood and even the Internet.