Sometimes you just need to take a couple days off.
So that's what I did. :)
But I'm back and feeling incredibly peaceful. I'm finding that when I tell my emotions how to behave--rather than the other way around--the adventure of it all becomes more in focus. You don't miss seeing any of Life's blessings when you keep the fog of worry out of your head.
So yesterday I got away from the house for the first time in nearly two weeks and while standing in one of many long check-out lines at the supermarket with my fist full of coupons, a young woman came and tapped me on the shoulder. She said, "Ma'am, I can help you over here," so I followed her to her empty check-out lane which she opened for me.
And right there while I unloaded my groceries I thanked God for His favor, for ushering me quickly to the best line in the whole store. And then when I saved $37 dollars (out of what would have been $89) with sales and coupons, well, I thanked Him again, this time for coupons and the Internet from which I almost feel like I'm printing-out money lately, what with all these Internet coupons, some which even made my groceries free because coupons are doubled at our stores, those up to 99 cents.
And then there's the possibility that Tom will get a certain job, a nifty one, but we won't find out for a month, or so. But you know? In the meantime, no matter what happens, all will be well. These months of unemployment feel like a combination of exam time and vacation, too, like June exams testing us over decades of lessons, and then summer vacation follows. Take an exam, enjoy a vacation. Over and over.
And although our November days have been extra-chilly, the house is warm while I cook from scratch and dance in the kitchen with Christmas Carols and earn a few dollars from online surveys. And there's all those hours of X-Files and American Pickers (odd combination, I know) with Tom and I sitting near each other, unworried, resting at heart.
There's much quiet and staring out of windows, too, giving myself time to remember what I've learned so I can put it into practice and thus keep this peace, this amazing, almost visible peace which follows me around the house and to the market and down the driveway to snatch Christmas cards from the box. Everywhere there is peace as long as I shut out the worry, dread and fear which would love to waltz through an open door--if I let them.
But of course, I'm not allowing that stuff inside. I have--we all have--that power to keep the door shut, opening it only for that which is from God.
And as Mary discovered, nothing from God can be taken away from us:
"But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her." ... Luke 10:42
That's still true today, you know.