Monday, September 14, 2009

I can't believe I'm going to tell you this, but God is nudging me to do it, and well, I can see His logic. This might comfort some of you and help you lighten-up and not feel, well, weird if you're doing the same thing.

What in the world?? Well, it's this: Tom and I sleep in separate bedrooms.

There, I said it.

See, Tom snores. I snore, too, and he says I make a weird clicking sound in my throat and sometimes I talk in my sleep or try to squeal for help if I'm having a bad dream. Tom also wheezes and groans and moans in his sleep. We are both quite the noisy nighttime pair.

So back at our former house when Naomi moved-out, I made-over her room just the way I wanted it and I began sleeping up there (though still calling it a 'guest room'). And, oh the sweet, sweet silence. Finally Tom and I could stop grumpily waking each other saying, "Knock-off all the noise!" Finally, we both got a good night's sleep and were chipper and cheerful in the mornings. And boy, is that important for our health--just take a look at any website about sleep deprivation. Not to mention helpful for our marriage, too.

And hey--I heard on the news recently that tons of people are having houses built nowadays with a bedroom for him and a bedroom for her. It's like the latest thing and I so understand.

So there you go. If you and your spouse sleep in separate rooms for the sake of preserving your otherwise terrific marriage, then relax. Stop the guilt. Stop the shame. And stop all the hush-hush, what-will-people-think? stuff.

Many of those people just may be sleeping in separate rooms, themselves. :)

8 comments:

Judy said...

I've been tempted.

My dad bought a new mattress and box spring a year ago. Since he is now resting-in-peace maybe I should too, while still here!

Dolores said...

I suffer from asthma and allergies, my husband and I both snore. If I didn't have my office/guest room to escape to I would be bonkers by now. I understand perfectly Debra.

Jammie J. said...

Tony and I do, too. I will snuggle with him for about 1/2 hour... if I can't fall asleep in his arms in that amount of time, I get up and go to the other room. We actually take turns in the "Big Bed", as we call it.

It works for us... and we're newlyweds. :)

Kristi in the Western Reserve said...

Have either or both of you been tested for sleep apnea? You should, probably. I have it. It's a serious condition and can affect blood pressure and lots of things. I sleep with a CPAP machine now and feel better than I had for years. I snored and Paul used to say he watched me stop breathing for too long! Used to wake up several times a night to go to the bathroom and now sleep straight through.

Debra said...

Thanks, Everyone! Glad we're not the only ones. :)

Kristi--Nah, we're fine. We've been snoring for 30 years. heh.

Blessings, Debra

Pat said...

Your "bravery" to tell things as they are is so refreshing! We went to seperate rooms a while ago. My husband has sleep apnea and before he was diagnosed, I would stay awake all night waiting for him to breathe! Now he uses a cpap machine...the noise is no better, it's like a wind tunnle in there! Now we sleep seperately, and soundly! I have to admit it felt strange when this first started happening...like the marriage was going down hill...but it actually is the opposite! Rest is important!!

Anonymous said...

me too! dh and i keep somewhat different schedules, and we both snore, and *someone* is an inveterate blanket stealer, so yes, separate bedrooms. sleep! i can toss and turn and not worry about waking him up! (and the reverse is also true)

hugs,
Kimberly S

Anonymous said...

If something doesn't work...why do it. If you can sleep seperate sooo much better that is the way to go. Nothing is stopping you from being together for a while then seperate. I know we have done the same thing many a time. If you wake up refreshed you will be easier to live with!! :) The object is a Good nights sleep not just a little sleep. :)