The Lion Inside

In literature, there are good lions and bad ones. For years (lots of them) it was as though I lived with a bad lion inside of me. That lion would stand and roar when anything threatened its pride or comfort.

If someone spoke offending words to me, even without meaning to, the lion roared.

If people paid more attention to my husband or daughter,making me feel slighted, the lion roared.

If others criticized me or my family or gave me unwanted advice or tried to coax me out of my shell, that huge, hairy lion roared and roared and roared.

Oh, only sometimes loud enough for others to hear, but always I heard him yelling within me.

And for too many years the goal became to keep that lion happy. Soothe him. I gave him what he wanted so to keep him silent.

Like the old saying says, I'd use music to soothe that savage beast. And I'd avoid the people who were likely to rouse him from his sleep and make him mad all over again. I'd give him what he wanted when he wanted it, things such as food, drink, entertainment and justification of his rights to always be in a bad, volatile mood.

That's one way to deal with a lion--always give him what he wants.

And that's what I did for so long. No wonder he liked living there inside my emotions--he got everything he asked for.

And only after years of doing that, did I hear a voice say, " Hey you! Get rid of that lion!"

Huh? Can a person actually do that? Isn't the goal to keep the lion laying down and quiet?

So I continued to feed him, cuddle him, play music for him, take him for walks and even bring him with me on vacation.

And even louder I'd hear, "For goodness sake, Debra. What are you doing? Get rid of that lion!"

Hmmm. What a novel idea.

And finally I was ready. Finally after I was exhausted from pampering that beast, I began listening to God tell me just how to get rid of that lion.

He said He'd get rid of it for me, piece by piece. It would take time. It would take my cooperation--not my bright ideas. But God assured me He could do it. He could get rid of that lion.

And years later, piece by piece, He is still carrying him away.


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