The Wasted Hour

In October my parents will visit us for the first time since we moved here 12 years ago. 

They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and this trip will be in celebration of that as a gift from my sister, brother and myself. All summer I assumed we were going with Plan A, but then my sister--who is planning the bulk of getting them out here, which I appreciate--emailed me and told me about a Plan B.

Well, I'd spent months with Plan A in my head and when Plan B came along, and it involved my dad doing some driving back here in Insane Driving Territory, suddenly I got frustrated.

Yes, me. I got frustrated and for an hour my sister and I emailed each other back and forth. To sum this up, she called my parents and found out what they wanted, which is really, a basic, do-able Plan C. It's something we can all live with.

But here's the tragedy. After all the emailing, all the frustration--which fortunately, felt like This-Was-My-Old-Life-So-What's-It-Doing-Back-Here-Now?--after all that useless emotion, I walked up our basement stairs and saw that it was now dark outside.

I was disappointed. I'd missed the sunset. I'd skipped sitting outside a while and watching my neighborhood play before the evening's end. I'd missed time on our porch with Lennon while I looked through decorating magazines for new ideas. I'd foregone sitting up in my dream room watching sun rays go from red to grey while Glenn Miller played Moonlight Serenade.

And it all made me wonder, "What if I come to the end of my life and, looking back, see thousands of such wasted golden hours?"

Such sadness because I could never get that hour back. I'd squandered it on frustration over nothing. Even thought it was frustration-worthy, still it was a waste. Frustration shows me I'm still trying to control the world, my world, which of course, I can't. But I can control myself because God does give us self-control and when I pay attention to how I'm doing in that area, it leaves me little time for the my-world-is-crashing frustration I used to sit inside constantly.

Well, guess what what I will not being doing tonight and guess what I will be doing instead?

My life changed when I realized I had choices in how I react to situations. I am not helpless and not a victim--I am a choice-maker when it comes to my emotions and what I do with them. 

And God is the one who gives me power to love this life He gave me and to make the most of it. He gives me the power to have joy in the midst of hard times. You can keep your other kinds of power--that's the kind of power I want.



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