Growing-Up. Growing Free.

I had to smile at Bonnie's comment about my last post (thanks for commenting, Bonnie and Sarah!), how, that, much of the kindness I spoke of is just common courtesy, because yes! It is. 

But. When you grow-up wrapped in painful shyness, common courtesy can be oh so hard:

"What if the person rejects my help? Then what will I say? How will I feel? How can I gracefully exit?"

"What if I stumble over my words? Or just stumble, period? What if the person is hard of hearing? What if I sound stupid?"

That's the junk which goes through the head of a shy person. And yes, much of that is pride (and selfishness) and as I've said here before, "Shyness is pride in disguise" and I agree (though with an ouch!). Yet when that bondage of shyness is deep-rooted since childhood, it takes lots of Time and a whole lot of God to fling it away and take-on blessed freedom instead.

Even now after letting God totally remake me these past 18 years--still--I must ask Him to supernaturally fill me with boldness just to tell that lady at the supermarket that she looks great today. 

Good gracious.

But you know? Some weaknesses stay around to keep us humble, needy for His ability, not relying upon our own and this case is a prime example of this verse:

"Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."  ... 2 Corinthians 12:9

I would hate creating a self-made strength, but I love it when God swoops in and fills me with His strength for His purposes. What He does will always be way more life-changing than anything cooked-up by me.

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Anyway.Speaking of my growing-up days......

Tonight is Nik Wallenda's big walk across the gorge at Niagara Falls and yay! He will use a safety harness. ABC insisted so Nik's starting out with the harness, but-- he says if it gets in the way (Nik and even his own mom said safeties can hamper a performance), he'll just rip it off and throw it away.

Oh dear.

Well, whatever. As I made Tom's work-lunch for him this morning, I thought about how--while I was growing-up--I spent time with whole passels of people who loved to verbally chew-up anyone who did anything out of the ordinary:

If a man had long hair, he was rebellious. Most likely, he lived a sinful life.

If any man or woman had tattoos, they were rebellious and 100% percent likely to regret those tattoos later in life.

If a couple put light-colored carpet in their home, they were foolish. They'd be sorry.

If an inter-racial couple married, they were just begging for unnecessary trouble and would probably be sorry, too.

And anybody who risked his life as Nik Wallenda is doing is just plain stupid and foolish and any other words along those lines.

Good grief. Imagine, expecting the whole world to feel and be and look like us.

But the one happy thing is that--because all good teens must rebel--at least I had some crazy assumptions to rebel against. For somewhere deep inside I always knew this verse to be true, even though I didn't really see it until my 30's:

"A man’s steps are from the Lord; how then can man understand his way?"  ... Proverbs 20:24

Put that verse together with this one:

"We have different gifts, according to the grace given us." ... Romans 12:6

.... and it's a wonder that any of us understands anything about anybody!  

I mean, if a man can't even understand his own way, then there's a whole lot going on out there which only God, Himself, understands, being He's the orchestra leader (if you will) of us all. So why all our opinions about that which we do not fully understand?

So what remains? My all-time favorite, freeing Bible verse on the side of this blog is what remains:

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands... " 1 Thessalonians 4:11 

Oh, when we just mind our own business! After all--we're given much grace for that.  But grace for poking our noses in others' business? Uh, no. Rather, just a discomfort and a nagging feeling that we've crossed a line.

Tonight Nik Wallenda will entertain millions of people while doing what God's gifted him to do, what he's been given grace to do. And though it's something most of us would never attempt, I will not express uneducated opinions about it but rather, I'll mind my own business which is this--

-- to pray for his safety,
to wish him an exciting trip across the wire 
and into History.

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^"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]."  ... Proverbs 18:21


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Getting It Right This Time

So early one morning last week I drove to my (magical) supermarket and while I pushed my cart down the first aisle I smiled really big at a middle-aged man who worked there. He smiled back at me then I continued down the aisle and oh! I had a serendipity.

I recalled the times when, back during my depressing Nevada Years, I'd drive to the supermarket specifically with the hope that someone there would smile at me. I'd wait at home for anyone to come and cheer me up, but they never came so I'd head out for a kindness-at-the-supermarket fix. Often.

Oh wow. How far our huge God has brought me.

All these 23 years later I've learned there's way more healing power when I smile at other people, first. When I seek out those who are unhappy and then initiate a hello of my own. When I give a compliment or help pick-up spilled oranges or aid someone in spying that one certain box of cereal they need amongst the hundreds there.

For always this will be true: It is in giving that we receive. The longest-lasting, most eternal life-giving stuff, anyway.

" Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters will himself be watered."  ... Proverbs 11:25

The life I now lead, the life I now experience on the inside? So vastly different from that Nevada Debra that, really, there's no comparison. That old Debra is--mostly--just a sad memory.

And this one simple sentence describes the main difference: 

I've learned to receive most of what I need from God and to give away what He gives me to other people.

Live that way and you'll never be the same, either. I guarantee it.

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Bonnie asked what I think about paperwork (keeping it organized, etc.) and let's just say I consider it the bane of my existence. heh. Seems no matter how organized I try to be, way too often the one paper I need at the time will be the only one not with the others. Gah.

She also asked how the Nik Wallenda/Niagara Falls thing is going, and well, it was all anybody was talking about until the tragedy at ECMC yesterday morning. What a sad, sad thing for our community and I'm praying for the family of the woman who died. She was just one year older than our Naomi and I can't even imagine what her family is going through.

But the tightrope walk is still the Biggest Deal and everybody everywhere you go or look (as in, tv) is still all hyper about it.  (I'm just praying he'll use a safety harness. sigh.)



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Give and it shall be given unto you.... bear one another's burdens... we shall reap what we sow ..... it is more blessed to give than to receive... be rich in good works and be generous and share...


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Last week Vista Print had another of their pay-only-shipping promotions so I ordered these address labels. They arrived in only a day and a half and I love the way they turned out!

Just Doing It

The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are 

fully satisfied." ... Proverbs 13:4

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So yesterday I began building a room in our basement. 

Well, 'building' is too strong a word. 'Creating' is better. Half of our basement has been a disorganized mess full of cascading boxes and has weighed upon my mind for months. I've known this will be a large project so I've procrastinated it and--in the meantime--it's all gone despicable and I've cringed every time I've done the laundry down there or cleaned the litter boxes or placed recyclables in the bin or put groceries away in that 1920's kitchen I've got going.

That's a whole lot of cringing.

 For months I've considered making a basement room for Naomi should she ever need to stay with us a few days. So--finally--yesterday I made two walls from large boxes, storing smaller boxes inside them--and already--the basement looks emptier, cleaner and under control. All with just an hour or so of work.

In the 2nd grade we learned a song called There's a Hole In The Bucket. Anyone remember that song? Henry tells his wife, Liza, that there's a hole in the bucket so she tells him to fix it. He asks her with what shall he fix it, she tells him to use straw, he says the straw is too long, she tells him to cut it, he asks her what he's supposed to cut it with, she says an axe, he says the axe is too dull, she says to sharpen it, he asks with what shall he sharpen it and she says a stone, but then he says the stone is too dry so she says to wet it, then he asks with what and she says water and he asks how will I fetch the water and she says use the bucket then he says there's a hole in the bucket............

Good grief. That's the kind of stuff that happens when we get lazy. One undone thing leads to another undone thing which leads to a heavy head full of jobs undone and a whole lotta frustration.

So often I tell myself, "Just do it. Just begin that task. Just give it ten minutes--and then if you wish to quit--quit. At least you'll have accomplished something." But what usually happens? I go way beyond the ten minutes because--once I conquer the inertia of it all--the battle is half-won.

That 'just give it ten minutes' is a Great Thing actually, especially the older I become. Sometimes I do stop at the end of ten minutes, but that's ok. What matters to God is that I give my best--and if my (true) best on certain days is only ten minutes-- then He's pleased with that. It's ok. All will be well--in Time.

So today I'll continue building my basement room and organizing those scary depths. And I'll send that procrastinated graduation card along with a check. And I'll begin preparing the rest of my flower bed. And I'll wash that blanket I've been meaning to wash.

And by the day's end? My head will feel lighter, freer. Pro-activity does that, you know, even on rough days when I can be diligent only ten minutes at a time.

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"For God knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust."  ... Psalm 103:14

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I absolutely, positively love this song. (And how cool that it came from a former American Idol kid. I even remember his audition from 2006 because of his funny comment about David Hasslehoff.)  :)

Turn it up loud!

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