Some days I sit where I can see three rooms of our house with a single sweeping gaze. And some days I just see:
tables and chairs that need dusting
tilted paintings and scratched hutches,
dust-bunnied oak floors and cat-haired carpet,
lamps whose bulbs need changing and chipped plaster walls.
But other days, I lean back with a coffee mug cradled in my hand, and look beyond stark reality, the kind money buys or lack of time neglects.
I see more.
The table is surrounded by friends, laughing over nothing, really. And the chairs are pushed back, chatting-style, while people sit with gold damask dinner napkins upon their laps. Lamps glow here and there, candles flicker upon the table's center while shadows play in corners.
And country folks in the paintings shake themselves long enough to call me to dream a little in their countryside, before settling back into their poses. Likewise, my old friends in dreamy worlds between book covers beckon me in collective crowd murmurs. The painted hutches smile with dish gifts and trinkets from cloudy estate sale Saturdays.
And upon wooden floors are remembered-footsteps of people no longer here. The carpet has cushioned us while we rolled around with the cats beneath the portraits of sepia-toned people watching with their camera-captured eyes.
The walls surround me like a hug, though they never divulge intimate memories from years they spent hugging other people. Their autumn-colored coating will keep our life secret, too, for those who come after us.
It all depends upon how I look at my home--and my life, as well.
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And no, that is not my living room in the photo above. heh.
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To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk... Thomas Edison
Imagination is more important than knowledge... Albert Einstein
Over at Saija's blog, she wrote about the hymn which she tends to hum around the house.
And that reminded me--each December when I slosh through snowy parking lots or wander down bright department store aisles, I hum "Angels We Have Heard On High." The wispy, raspy, milk-it-till-you-cry version. I hum that song until it feels almost like a movie soundtrack and I'm the main character who, at the time, is shopping for gifts while somewhere in the background, film of my golden past memories is rolling.
December is a reflective month, perhaps because it's the final one of the year. Or maybe because there's so much Christmas-ing going on that my mind is saying slooow down and count your blessings from Christmases long, long ago.
But all this reminds me of yet another thing. I rarely set an alarm clock for mornings because usually, though it's still pitch black outside, I can feel when it's time to arise. That's because of the songs--I like to call them the songs in my heart. When I open my eyes and can hear one of those heart songs playing, then I know it must be quite close to 5:00 a.m.
Talk about changes. Huh! Years ago it was the groans inside my head which got me out of bed. You know, those 'records' which play those awful, complaining moans, "Gotta do this. Gotta do that. Same old things all day long. Better get started. Hurry. Hurry."
But oh, the changes. I had to let God switch around a few things about me (okay, many) and I had much letting go to do. Like letting go of:
Self-imposed stress
Thinking things must always be a certain way
Expecting too much from other people
Worrying about every tiny thing
Well, you know.
But for the sweet, snappy morning songs? Every small pain was worth the huge joy.
"...where morning dawns and evening fades, You call forth songs of joy." Psalm 65:8
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I realize most people probably have the opposite problem. In fact, if your problem is over-spending, then you may want to stop reading this immediately.
Hi. My name is Debra. I am a cheapskate.
Well, a recovering cheapskate.
Until eight years ago I was a 'professional' penny-pincher--I took saving money to a whole other realm. Or thought I did. Maybe some of you will recognize my symptoms (you know who you are):
If I forgot to bring a couple 25 cents-off coupons to the market with me, I would not buy those two items I'd planned on purchasing. No, instead, I'd return days later, spending more than 50 cents in gas, and using-up inordinate amounts of time driving to the store, then weaving my cart down the store aisles (again), standing in line (again), then driving home through stressful traffic (yeah, again). I'd arrive home and whine, "I wonder why I'm tired all the time?"
All to 'save' 50 cents.
If I wanted to buy some shoes and I fell in love with one pair, but they were five dollars more than I'd planned to spend-- I would, instead, purchase a cheaper pair which I didn't like as much. And then almost immediately I'd grow tired of wearing them because they didn't look 'right.' Or they fell apart. All to 'save' $5. I would do that with just about everything imaginable: clothes,furniture, dishes, paintings, etc. (This one still trips me up at times.)
I'd buy cereal I didn't really even like just because it was a dollar cheaper than the tasty kind and oh, keep toasters, window screens, typewriters or anything which had broken 'just in case' I could fix them someday.
I'd almost never hire any teens to shovel snow from our driveway (forgetting that I'd be sowing good seeds by giving them a way to earn money).
I'd feel like we'd soon be packing for the county Poor House if I discovered that Tom or Naomi had left the lights and/or the TV on all night.
You get the idea. (Anyone else been there, done that?)
Then one afternoon God used Joyce Meyer to wake me from this insane nightmare. I watched her teach a message from her More Than Enough series in which she shared that she, too, was a recovering cheapskate and knew all the tricks we penny-pinchers pull.
And I was never the same.
Oh, it's taken years to shed some of these scales, but Joyce shined the spotlight on my silly, penny-squeezing ways and for the first time, I longed to wiggle of that trap.
Yes, it is a trap when a Christian fears spending money on himself.
It's a trap when we fear that God will only provide a certain amount of money and then we will be cut off and when we put no value on our time--and frizzle and frazzle our bodies into an early grave because we tried to save 50 cents.
It's a trap to eat foods we don't even like (and let go stale in the pantry). Or buy clothes that make us look washed-out or frumpy(and ones that end up petrifying inside our closets).
It's a trap when we can't freely give to others in need, when we make financial decisions based on fear instead of wisdom.
And no, I'm not talking about spending twenty dollars more on a pair of jeans just because they have a cool, sought-after name.
And yes! By all means be a good steward of what God gives you!
But all I'm saying is that sometimes the Fear of Lack causes us (me) to be, well, stupid. There's a giving and receiving ebb and flow to life and I can clog it up by my fear-based, miserly ways.
I don't want to do anything out of fear! There is a better way: it's called Wisdom.
I'll choose that. So far it's making a huge difference, even saving me lots of money--surprise!
(Now, if any of you spend-crazies are still here, consider yourselves warned! If I hear that any of you are walking around saying, "Debra said that God said you can just spend all the money you want!"... well, I will look for you, and I will find you and I'll snatch your Visa card out of your hot little, spend-happy hand!) ッ
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"...for wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her..." Proverbs 8:11
Wisdom can help us avoid a whole lot of trouble...
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