So there I was down in the basement with my face against our new washing machine's top. Trying not to cry. "Why is this happening? All of this?" I whispered.
The machine wouldn't fill. After lining up the settings, I pressed the start button, yet only a bit of water trickled in, then stopped. Tried it again, same thing.
And that's when I leaned upon the machine, wanting to crumble. These past 4 weeks! The exhaustion, the coughing, hearing loss, uti, fibroid issues, bad outside air quality (so no sitting outside to heal), trying to keep up with housework, 3 weeks of men tearing out our street to repave it (boom! crash! boom), the loss of all but my indoor tomato seedlings, my laptop threatening suicide, and that very morning Tom awoke with excruciating hip pain --
But God reminded me of the beautiful moments.
Help for weeks from Tom and Naomi. A card and letter from a friend. Facebook messages wishing me well and lots of folks there praying for me. Last week when Tom and Naomi oversaw the entire washing machine installation and carry-away. Emails promising prayers. The days we had sunshine and others with rain for my gardens. And what did we do before helpful Youtube videos?
I lifted my head. Eyed that start button then pushed it one more time. Poof! It began filling normally.
Oh, how times like these dip us down to the deepest pools of gratitude. So deep, that we learn to view everything (everything) through eyes made new by all that gratitude water.
Whew.
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For the record, our former washing machine was 20 years old and I'd babied it along for months. I specifically asked Tom to order a very basic machine as much like the old one as possible, but there are still a few too many little green lights on it for my liking.
Oh, and I am feeling much better from that virus, maybe 85%. Thanks if you prayed for me. You'll never know how much I appreciate it.
Please pray for Tom. He's going to try sitting very still this weekend then see his acupuncturist on Monday.
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To give you an example of how badly I felt, I finished reading only one book last month! My goal is eight. Plus I bought two new middle grade books, but have not even opened them. So unlike me!
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Clinging to this one, trust me! --
'They' say not to talk about illness--and to an extent I agree when it's the only thing one speaks of. Yet if no one ever shares this stuff then others will think everybody else is feeling great and they, themselves, are alone in their hard times.
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"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15
5 comments:
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Oh Debra, I feel your pain. I have chronic back issues which are normally managed with monthly chiropractor visits. Ten days ago I was making the bed and my lower back gave out. I couldn't walk, sit, bend or stand. I have been to the chiropractor 4 times since then. Each time I think. Ok all is well and then, the simplest movement sets it off again. I have been really impatient. Really Lord? You just want me sitting around doing nothing?! I was supposed to be starting a new job last week. Oh the lessons I'm learning. 🙂 Praying you will be 100% soon and Tom will improve.
Oh Debra! Of course you need to share when things aren't great. How else would we know to pray specifically for healing? I wish our washer didn't come with so many bells and whisles but it was in our condo when we moved in. I won't complain and it's worked well so far. I so glad that yours is now working again.
You've had a rough month for sure. I've been prayign for you and will keep it up. I go for injections in my back next week and again next month. If they work, the plan is to do an ablation on the nerves in my back. I'm praying that will relieve the spasms I've had for years. It's really limited my being able to do things. I've gained way too much weight and so I'm very hopeful that the shots will work for me.
Happy 4th of July my friend.
Blessings and hugs,
Betsy
Gosh Debra, you and your family have been going through the mill, and after a while, a person gets worn down. I appreciate that you share the reality of life--I think we all benefit from honesty. I especially like that when you were nearly at the end of your rope, you whispered, "Why is this happening? All of this?" That surely must be the best possible response when we're in need. "But God reminded me of the beautiful moments...I lifted my head." These words went straight to my spirit. He's right there in the middle of the mess with us, and He stays with us when all seems well. Have you ever heard that old hymn: It's just like Jesus to roll the clouds away; it's just like Jesus to keep me day by day; it's just like Jesus all along the way; it's just like His great love. Your post reminded me that the One who created the clouds can also roll them away. That will be my prayer for you and your family. Please let us know how Tom is doing.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I will keep you in my prayers. Your illustrations and Bible verses are wonderful. God bless you. Warm greetings from a 68 year old retired lady living in Montreal, Canada.
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