The Zombie Lady On The Red Couch

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."   --- Psalm 147:3

******

Oh dear.

You missed the zombie lady on the red couch. Scary sight, that, what with her sad stare, nearly lifeless body and shriveled heart. The returning snow and cold outside the icy glass windows, also.

The tragedy with Charlie Cat? Not a test, but rather, a spiritual attack along the lines with Job's story. You know, as tho' satan told God, "Let me take away Debra's new cat and you'll see if she still loves you."

Spiritual attacks. They come after you've sown good seeds. Done things right. Made a difference in peoples' lives. They are undeserved and meant to shut you down. Make you useless. 

I'm used to small ones, but this one shattered me.

(While I'm here, this is why you'll almost-never hear me criticize Christian leaders. The more people one ministers to, the more intense and consistent the attacks and temptations hurled. Oh, what they must experience!)

Man, not since nearly 25 years ago (long, unfair story) have I experienced such wild, varying emotions: anger, devastation, confusion, grief, regret, weakness, and a lack of hope in returning to whom I'd become. 

Yet faithfully Jesus is leading me through this mine field. He reminds me of myriad lessons and takes me new places like, well, Instagram, with healing words like these:

"This pain is only temporary, but my joy will be eternal. This suffering will last for a season, but my perfect body will be a new, immortal creation. These cries are only temporary, my worship will continue forever. This broken heart is temporary, my Healer is all-powerful and His promises are trustworthy."     

---She Rises

--and--

"Every tear you cry He sees. Every hope you lost, He restores."

---CoffeeWithMyFather

Also, while watching my Gilmore Girls movie dvd's, Jesus reminded through this song that I'm not unbreakable (very humbling) and this song made me yearn for my former creative, happy self (a right step).

Anyway. Now I understand why some people experience a tragedy, trauma, and are never the same. Why they choose the tempation to build concrete walls, aid no one, stop all risks, and hide for their life's remainder.

I get it now. 

But with Jesus by my side, I'm not going there. He's helping me to--in Time--choose a different outcome. His.

Oh, and I've been in Facebook jail a week. I think. They're not letting me use any text in my posts, only memes. Gah. Didn't need that on top of all else whether it's simply a glitch or something else.

******

These past 2 weeks, Youtube also helped my sorry self (though truthfully, a couple times I thought, "Man, I'm even getting sick of Youtube!).  シ

How had I never heard of Lustron houses? I find them fascinating. Last week I watched probably 10 videos about them. Here's one more.

Such a peaceful video, this one. Made me want to live on a small boat! Well, for a few moments there. heh.

And although it's been difficult counting my blessings these past two weeks, here was a lovely one. The book I ordered to read on my birthday: Winterbound. One of the best new-to-me books I'd read in a long time.

And as I shared at Facebook (the post which may have landed me in FB jail, for it was the last one with text) ---

Lately Tom and I watch one episode of CHiPs each evening. Always as it ends, we feel we traveled back in Time.

We recognize that 1970's world.

We understand the cars, the clothes, the stores. We understand the people and the way they talk face to face and go out, have fun, and do not stare at their phones or wear pajamas in the streets.

People weren't perfect, ok. But the masses weren't as stressed-out and angry back then. (Your experience may have varied.)

I still believe things will change someday, but in the meantime? We're thankful for shows like CHiPs to show us a world we understand better than the one today.

*****

Please remember: My posts are always about more than they appear to be. 

 *** 

 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15

When You Believe A Wrong Thing--Or--Will She Be a Cat Lady In Heaven?

"Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."   --- John 8:12, John 1:5

*****

(While reading this I hope you'll ask yourself, "Am I believing something not true?")

***

On Monday we lost Charlie Cat. 

Days before, he'd stopped eating and the renal failure and bad heart (the part I didn't tell you) caught up with him. No fistfuls of money can rescue a cat from those so, taking the long way, Tom drove us to the vet again.

The next 4 days? Oh dear. The darkest I'd visited in my mind since an upsetting, unfair time in 2000. This losing a young Charlie felt much worse than our last July's loss of Daniel: at least he'd lived the average length of a tabby.

I tried snapping out of it. 

I pictured Charlie in my heavenly house with our earlier cats. Did some gardening. Read books and clung to Jesus every minute (how does anyone survive without Him?).

Yet not until Thursday did the darkness, the anger, the confusion and the temptations for self-pity, disappear. How? That's when I stopped telling myself, "No more cats ever! No more risks. My heart can't handle being shredded again."

Jesus showed me that was a lie. What my heart cannot face is never having another cat curled up beside me on the red couch. Or upstairs here sitting in the window or staring at me from the guest bed.

Those absences are what my heart cannot handle.

And when I finally stopped believing the lie and making decisions based upon fear? Oh Honey, the sunshine in my soul returned. I felt free again, like my good ol' normal, Jesus-set-me-free self.

Maybe, in some months ahead, we'll even get 2 cats(!), as a sign of God restoring double what we'd lost. More work? Yes, but I'd rather feel physically tired than emotionally crushed. 

Besides, I'm now planning on being one of Heaven's cat ladies. (You know Heaven has them, right?)  ツ So a couple more cats would fit just right.

But here's the thing: I had to reach this place, myself. Oh, a book and even Instagram helped, but mostly as vehicles by which Jesus spoke soothingly to me, personally. 

Others' opinions about my next steps, well, I avoided those.

Today's lesson? If we're feeling all wrong inside, perhaps we're believing a lie. Like Jesus said, the truth will set us free.

But only if we release the lie and pick up the truth, instead. And hug it to our heart. Believing.

If the emotions, heart, will, or mind is set against the thing being done, there will be no rest. . . 

God never blesses people who run. Wherever they are hiding He finds them and takes them back to what they ran from so they can face it and experience true freedom. God gives us power and wisdom to deal with situations, not to try to escape them. Avoidance is not a godly character trait."  

--- Joyce Meyer, from Eat The Cookie, Buy The Shoes: Giving Yourself Permission to Lighten Up

Here's a short (quirky) blog post I wrote in 2005 about self-pity. Boy, did I have to remind myself of that post this past week!

*****

Technically tomorrow is my birthday, but I'm celebrating today by doing my favorite things, mostly alone, around the house and yard. I'd planned these specific activities since last year and am grateful God returned me to truth and light yesterday, just in time to enjoy this day. Whew.

*****

What took me so long? For years I'd wished to buy plant stakes like these--

-- and last week I finally did. They're even lovelier in-person (a shinier copper color) and already I placed two in my herb garden, one for scallions, another for chives, both which are already thriving in our Spring-like weather.

Ariel got engaged!

You haven't watched Return to Mayberry in awhile? Here you go. Free.

This woman is like a real-live Hobbit. Such an inspiration and oh my--her bedroom! What a wonder.

English Cottage Dark Academia Style Interior Design Fusion. Wow, what beautiful rooms!

*****

Books I finished reading in February (went a bit crazy. Er hem.) --

Sharpe Point by Lisa B. Thomas

Sharpe Edge by Lisa B. Thomas

Sharpe Turn by Lisa B. Thomas

Ghost Town Treasure by Clyde Robert Bulla

Mystery at Star Lake by Margaret Goff Clark

The Slipper Point Mystery by Augusta Hueill Seaman

The Brass Keys of Kenwick by Augusta Hueill Seaman

The Boarded-Up House by Augusta Hueill Seaman

The Disapperance of Anne Shaw by Augusta Hueill Seaman

Three Sides of Paradise Green by Augusta Hueill Seaman

Mystery of Sebastian Island by Margaret Goff Clark

******

This verse helped me realize that, although there are a lot of 'no's' in my life, cats are still a 'yes'--and a good thing from God.

                               

                                 

                                I'm so grateful God does heal our smashed-up, ripped apart heart--and in very customized ways.

*****

Please remember: My posts are always about more than they appear to be. 

 *** 

 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15

The Good News. The Bad News. The Free Chandelier.

You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon you because he trusts in you.

******

It's wild how emptying our head of complaints can create tons of room instead for creative ideas. I like to imagine it as the axiom we learned in school--

... two bodies cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

That chandelier I showed you? Just one idea which arrived only after I gave-up (released) the clutter of I-need-a-different-house whinings.

I absolutely stare at that chandelier. Love it, especially when the sun shines, causing tiny rainbows to dance across the ceiling.

Well, (you're sitting, right?) I actually found a place for another chandelier(!) At the end of this looong area upstairs, there's a tiny, indented space beside the chimney, just the perfect place for yes, another one.

In fact, before the chandelier arrived, I lugged-away-down-the-street the ugly large-ish table lamp sitting on the floor nearby. How good to create a bit more of empty floor space.

I know, I know, another chandelier? But hey! Why not, especially when I ordered it for free with credit card reward points.

Today's lesson? Let it go. You know, the it-isn't-fair-or-even-my-fault clutter, touchable and not.

Release it all through your windows (or by way of bags in your car) and then welcome the creativity just waiting to move into that space, instead.

******

What (if anything) do you tend to often complain about? Has God shown you a way to release the complaints so to make room for gratitude and fresh ideas, instead?

Everyday we can splash around--at least awhile--in creative endeavors which elevate our happiness.

******

Now, for the bad news which I'll share as I did at Facebook:

This wasn't supposed to happen. Charlie Cat's test results came today and the doctor said he's in early renal failure. It's so rare for such a young cat. We'll pick up special food and pills for him, but--barring a miracle--it's an attempt to sustain his life for as long as possible.

This is horrible and truly, we need a miracle. We do believe in miracles! Thanks for your prayers. Maybe I should've stuck with my no-more-cats verdict after Daniel, but then, I wouldn't have missed meeting Charlie. What a sweet cat he is and he did help our hearts to heal.

So there was that. 

But you know? Before the vet (who sounded sad over the phone) gave us the results, Charlie had, the day before, begun eating much better! And he still is, this week later.

So God's used that to encourage us. We've chosen peace and belief that all will be well. That he'll continue to appear perfectly normal. Even the vet sounded hopeful yesterday. 

And personally, I am choosing just to celebrate each day that Charlie's still here. To love on him for however long I can. To appreciate him fully, like now, while he's curled up on the guest bed or leaning against my hip on the red couch.

To love this life God's given me, even at the times it doesn't flow the way I'd like or understand.

******

Spring Cottage Garden

Alone in an Off-Grid Cabin

Some easy desserts!  Here, here  and here.

Never Have These 20 Items in Your Home (If You Hate Cleaning).

Thanks for sharing this today, Tracy! --

"Trust in and rely confidently on the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know and acknowledge and recognize Him, And He will make your paths straight and smooth [removing obstacles that block your way]". Proverbs 3:5,6

Please remember: My posts are always about more than they appear to be. 

 *** 

 "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15