Tuesday, August 13, 2019

That Annoying Tear-Down Season

"Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double."   ... Zechariah 9:12


So many tests, so little patience from Debra.


One test? Naomi and Justin are in the process of an amicable break-up and Naomi wants to make big changes to her life. That's all I can say about that at this time, but man, after 3 years, Tom and I will miss Justin. Gah.

And there are other things, but this one, below, saddens me, also. See this?

That's one of my best-loved 'corners' in my home. Rarely am I able to create such a pretty scene. I stare at it, even while watching tv sometimes. My heart sings when I do, for it helps the visual illusion that we've lived here 50 years (or so). My aim.

Well, Tom's longed to buy a bigger tv for years, one to place in his room, but it's just not working out. Plus, as I told him, I don't believe in watching tv in pitch-dark rooms, so I'd never see movies with him in there. 

He'd be like a scary troll, all alone.

So after a once-yearly huge argument last night, I caved and told Tom to go ahead: buy a larger tv-- for over the fireplace. I'll remove my vintage white dishes and the beautiful painting and cram them (somehow) into our (dark, northern exposure)office. Or on the floor of the guest room upstairs. Whatever. Who cares anymore?

He said, "No, don't do that," but I said, "Yes, I'm going to because I'm tired of this whole discussion where I'm made to sound like a tyrannical woman for wanting to decorate my home and--"

Well, you get it. Maybe you've heard something similar where you live. シ

Man, after having yet one more thing stripped away, I need to return to my post where I listed what still remains. I must remind myself Ecclesiastes 3:3 doesn't just say, "There's only time to tear down," but rather, it adds, "and a time to build."

Thank-goodness that after Tear Down Season comes the Let's Build Things Again! one. 

Also,  may I remember what matters is I behave well during the tear-down (which I certainly did not do last night. Did. Not.).

And may I forgive everyone, including myself, for all our annoying humanity which still clings to us and recall this, also--

"This world is not my home,
I'm just a passin' through."

I am living in temporary quarters, you know. We all are. Whew.

“Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”   --- copied


Gee, this has hugely comforted me lately!--

And gratitude! Oh, gratitude helps, also. Lately when I catch my head complaining like crazy, I make myself list 5 unique things for which I'm grateful. 

Oooh, what a good habit, that one. I think I'll keep it.


"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15


Terra said...

The season of tearing down you are going through, and that we all go through, is a hard one, and thank goodness for the season of building up. The day and the year my husband died was a time of tearing down for me, and now, almost 3 years later, I am in a slow rebuilding phase. You mentioned amicable breakup and I know that is still heart wrenching.

Betsy said...

I'm sorry Debra. The guys just don't get it sometimes. I'm constantly reminding myself that it's HIS house too, not just mine, even though I'm in it 99% of the time more than he is at this point in our lives.
Tearing down can be so difficult but think what joy you can have as you move things and rearrange to maybe even a better way!
Amicable break-ups can be difficult too. It affects all that are around and have grown to care for the person involved.
Be kind to yourself, (and to Tom!) . Ha!!

Pam said...

Debra, I always appreciate how transparent you are with us. Your posts help to remind us that we are not alone in the ups and downs of life. Decisions made by our loved ones almost ALWAYS affect us. Sometimes I just want to have t-shirts made that say: I HAVE AN OPINION, TOO; WHEN DO I GET MY WAY???; ASK ME WHAT I WANT; YOU HAVEN'T A CLUE!; DON'T EXPECT ME TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS. Oh my, that felt good. Of course, as moms and wives, we listen, love, and support. Then we drag out the old, worn out t-shirt that says COMPROMISE. If that one is dirty, we can put on the equally worn one that says PEACEMAKER. I know I'm being flippant, but so much is expected of us. Debra, I feel for Naomi as she's going through major life changes, and I feel for you and Tom, also. Justin was part of the family for three years, and all of you will feel his absence. Change is hard for most of us, and the huge chasm between male and female thinking is nearly impossible to span. My husband is like Tom when it comes to TV. The only reason our TV isn't on the mantle is because our mantle is too high for it to fit. I absolutely adore my hubby but we still disagree on much. I guess all we can do is continuously pray for grace and thank God for knowing what's best for all of us.

Debra said...

Terra--thank-you so much for your kind comment. Nearly 3 years, oh my. It's seemed to go quickly for me, but I'm sure not for you. But I'm thinking God has helped you rebuild so well--you seem to be gracious and appreciative and growing. And that is wonderful.

Betsy--thanks so much for understanding! The differences we all have, right? Surely they try our patience--and help us grow. (I keep reminding myself, anyway. heh.)Your first paragraph could've been written by me and made me smile. Again, thanks.

Pam--oh my! Your comment made me laugh and nod my head in agreement so much. :) Thank-you!!

Thanks so much, Ladies..... Blessings, Debra