Saturday, February 23, 2019

Please Say Good-Bye

"Do not be selfish ... Rather, in humility value others above yourselves..."   ... Philippians 2:3


In Blogland I have seen this. It bothers me, much.

Women set-up a blog, begin writing about themselves, their unique life and husbands and kids. We, their followers, know their children's names as well as our own, we leave comments, even making new friends of not just the blogger, but fellow commenters (whose blogs we zip over and visit, also.) The original blogger writes for years. She shares tons of photos, stories, personal problems, even, answers comments, does the occasional give-away and even says she appreciates (dare I say loves) us, her readers.

And then it all stops. 
Just goes silent. 
Becomes another 'house' in the ghost town section of Blogland.

People leave increasingly frantic comments asking, "What's wrong? Where are you?" But questions go unanswered and eventually, not allowed. Comment sections becomes closed.

And now? We have only memories of earlier fun times, though sadly, sullied now by disappointed, even morbid thoughts which creep in. "What happened to her? Was there a family tragedy? Did she become ill? Was there violence? Heavens, has she died?"

She's gone now, as is the anticipation for her posts. For her. That's all we know for certain.

It's just unsettling-ly, over. We have special memories, but now? We've also a wariness crawling into our hearts regarding the present blogs we read. "Will the hurt happen again with this blog?", we wonder. 


And to be fair? I've watched this also happen on Facebook, Twitter and via emails I used to receive from friends I met online.

So today my message is simple. 

Please--if you decide to take a break from blogging? Leave a post with at least one simple sentence telling us so. 

Do we require a long, detailed, difficult-for-you explanation? No. Not even. Just please tell us you need time away. That you'll return if you can, but in the meantime, you wish us well.

And yes, our curious brains will likely spark deductions as to why you're leaving, but you know? That's better than our later guessing whether you're ill, grieving, lonely--or even dead.

And for the rest? Facebook, Twitter, emails--or even Real Life? There, too, please don't just drop out. Okay, if suddenly you're swept into the Witness Protection Program or something similar--yeah.

But for anything else? Please tell us, those you love--good-bye. 

Yes, sometimes that requires boldness, but God would call it kindness. Respect. Real love, even. A love which thinks of others more highly than ourselves. A love which would hate to blanket upon others any form of mental uneasiness or fear.

Please, be brave enough to speak your good-byes. Remember, they matter--to all of us.

“Remember me and smile, for it's better to forget than to remember me and cry.” 
― Dr. Seuss

"So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith."   ... Galations 6:10


Ooooo.... I've a feeling my fellow lovers of vintage kitchens will enjoy this one (read about it here). (Thanks again, Judy, for sharing this at Facebook!)

The cool thing? For many folks, this photo, above, would be their Before photo. But for Lauryn and Dennis--it's their After.


"Anything that costs you your peace is too expensive."

--Stephan Labossiere via Twitter



Anonymous said...

First of all, that looks SO much like the kitchen in the first house we owned after we we’re married. I adored that kitchen.

And second, I agree with you entirely. It really hurts when someone just disappears. I miss them and even grieve a bit,

Dewena said...

I've only seen one blogger disappear without a word. It was when I first discovered blogs and only read a few and she was amazing. I found out later that she had passed away. Other bloggers who passed away usually had a family member do a final post and that's what I've instructed my son to do. But so very many blog friends went away to IG. And my three best blog friends who I email back and forth with all the time, have not been posting and I miss them so much. One friend told me recently that bloggers shouldn't apologize when coming back from a break because honestly, people don't think about you. Ha! Obviously, she's never met you! I think it's reassuring to know you feel this way and it makes me want to be more considerate about keeping my own readers informed.

I post infrequently at one blog, do well to get two or three a month up but try to frequently at another one. And even when I'm playing hooky from blogging I do get notifications of your new posts and always read them!

Terra said...

I agree, when a blogger I like doesn't post for a month or two or three I wonder and worry and hope they are ok. A short post of brief explanation would be appreciated. I have a list of passwords etc. for my sons to use in the event a final post is needed.

Pam said...

Isn't amazing how quickly and deeply we can connect with our online friends? My husband and I were just talking about how much life has changed with the click of a button. You can meet people, learn new skills, shop, sell, be entertained, etc. BUT when one of your blog or video friends stops talking, it truly hurts. You're right Debra, just a few words of explanation would make the transition so much easier.

That adorable kitchen. Be still my heart. It sure took me back to my grandma's kitchen. She had those creamy yellow painted cupboards that screamed "welcome" whenever you entered the door. Lauryn and Dennis seem like a really cool couple, too!

Debra said...

Thanks so much, Everyone! I loved discovering that I wasn't the only one who felt unsettled when bloggers walked away with no explanation. I like the idea of leaving your password with a loved one and instructions for them to write to write a post if a blogger passes away. (I'm thinking I need to leave Naomi instructions concerning that, like, yesterday!)

Thank-you for each of your comments and letting me know you liked the kitchen, as well. Really.

Blessings, Debra