"You have not because you ask not." ... James 4:2
So if you've been following my little soap opera here, you know that Naomi returned home from Georgia last October.
And it's been great having her back!
Well, except for one thing. The night owl part. The she's-a-waitress(server)-and-a-musician-and-we-all-know-what-hours-they-keep part. She started all that at age 18 so you'd think I'd be used to her coming in at 4 or 5 a.m. by now.
Two a.m. or earlier, yes. But not later. I've tried. Tried to sleep soundly at 3:00 a.m. knowing she's not home, but it's hard not to keep waking up and checking. And of course, I want to give Naomi freedom in her mid-30's, just as I'd wish for myself had I been living with my own parents at that age. There's that.
And yes, people are quick to quip, "Just put her in God's hands." (Usually folks who've never faced this situation, who never wonder if their kids will come in anywhere from midnight to 7:00 a.m., I've noticed.) Even Tom told me to go to a different head space, but then, he never notices if Naomi's home by any time. (Men...) The only worrying he's done was whether Naomi would have a cow if I asked her to make some changes.
But what bothers me most? I so respect wisdom. I crave it and love verses like this:
"Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you." ... Proverbs 4:6
... and well, call me old-fashioned, but I don't believe it's wise for a young woman to be out at 4:00 a.m. For one thing, my lying-in-bed prayers start sounding like this, "God, please let Naomi get away with not using wisdom and not giving us hints as to when she'll return. Amen."
And that just feels wrong.
Finally I couldn't take the no-grace-ness of it all. I told Naomi that if she won't be home by 5:00 a.m., I need her to leave a text or email. I'd feel much better if she would.
And you know? She was fine with that. Grace was all over our conversation and Naomi now even gives me brief verbal itineraries of her daily hours with expected return times.
Wow. The worry weight lifted. I've been a.o.k. ever since.
Truly sometimes 'we have not because we ask not." And seriously, how many other times could I have had what I needed if only I'd asked someone rather than complaining, worrying or playing the martyr (even subconsciously)?
But complaining is not asking.
Worrying is not asking.
And playing martyr is certainly not asking.
So today if you need something, I'd recommend you ask.
Ask. For help around the house. For encouragement.
Ask. For that new toaster. For a friend.
Ask. For favor. For cooler weather.
Hey, who knows? Maybe all sorts of wonderful things will only be released to us after we ask.
“So I say to you, ask keep on asking, and it will be given to you; seek keep on seeking, and you will find..." ... Luke 11:9
Something which mega helped? I saw this, below, at Facebook on the morning I knew for certain I'd have to say something to Naomi.
"As I continue to move you past mindsets of your past, not only will I give you wisdom to make righteous decisions, but I will also give you strength to implement necessary changes too. I have granted you the discernment to identify the problem, and wisdom to identify solutions, and now I am also giving you the strength to make the changes needed. I will give you all the pieces you need, and assist you in assembling them together." ... Neil Vermillion
And uh-oh! Here's another reason you may want to start doing some asking. :)
Stress Literally Shrinks Your Brain
And for my fellow lovers of all things vintage, here's a fun blog for you.
(A special thanks to Pam for recommending it!)
Free Kindle Books:
Agnes Hopper Shakes Up Sweetbriar
Chili to Die For