Thursday, February 19, 2015
'I Can Smile At The Old Days'
"Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions." ... Ecclesiastes 7:10
Each day since Tom went away I've stepped out through the snowy pathway to the garage, swung up the large door, then gotten into the car to warm it up for five minutes, lest the battery die as many peoples' have during these long strings of frigid days.
Funny how five minutes can sometimes feel like thirty.
Anyway, I always play the car radio while I wait (if that defeats the purpose of charging the battery, don't tell me. It could snatch away away my 'raison d'etre' when it's, like, 2 degrees out there.). And today, guess what? Barry Manilow sang to me my most favorite of his songs--Memory.
Now, that's the type of song which can pull tears from my eyes while I'm pushing a shopping cart around aisles, say, at Target. That sappy sentimental-sounding stuff can turn my heart to warm mush as it parades the sweetest, long ago memories of Tom and Naomi (especially). And if, like now, they're both far away from me? I've been known to return said shopping cart, leave the store, and return to the car to pull myself together. Or to just drive home.
But on this sunny, frigid afternoon out there in the car while Tom's in South Africa and Naomi's in Tennessee? I simply did what Barry said he can now do:
I smiled at the old days.
I just smiled and felt grateful that I'd had those delicious times, that they'd been mine. There were no tears, no hot lump inside my throat, no wishing I could go back, but only great peace.
And I thought, "This feels like being healed. Like I love my present life as much as the past one. Like, as the song ends, "A new day has begun."
Behold! God really does make all things new, even for stubborn women who finally give in and let God have His way.
Then I turned the key and ran through the snow and 4 degrees back inside to where all is warm and golden--and different--from long ago. But where the walls pulsate with the peace of God and Grace and I am never, ever alone.
"You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness..."...Psalm 30:11
(Don't you just love that verse to pieces? It's been a favorite of mine ever since we used to sing the song with those words 30 years ago.)
Just a few miles down the street of my frozen world-- Niagara Falls:
Springtime.... it will come again, right? Right? :)
Free Kindle books:
The Happiest Season
Abound in Love
A Sugar Creek Amish Romance
Forgot to mention.... Tom is finally feeling much better. Thanks so much for your prayers!