"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar." --- from Proverbs 31
Two years after moving to the farm, Tom was downsized from his job. An unforgettable day, that one.
Another memorable thing? Soon after, something startled me. Tom continued to mow the lawn, but I did everything else.
Everything. Else. And somehow that glaring discrepancy had never appeared so obvious in all our decades together. (He'd not even mowed the lawn till we moved to the farm. But remember, he'd had polio, though always I'd tried not to baby him for that reason.)
Yet it was more. Namely, for the first time I realized that if (heaven forbid) something ever happened to me, Tom would be sunk. Marooned. I'd taken all those 'wives should do everything for their husbands' Bible verses far too literally.
I'd created, not a monster, but a Helpless Husband. Uh-oh.
So since Tom now had all sorts of free time, I began teaching him--maybe not how to run a house--but to keep it (and Life) from collapsing. Believe it or not, yes, this included how to boil water (he didn't know to place a lid over the pan).
I taught him to cook simple meals. Which pans and dishes to use. How to load the dishwasher. How to feed the cats, sweep the floor, clean out the refrigerator and --
You know, just enough to where, if on his own, he'd be ok. Not live in squalor or defeat. And when the training was over, I felt more relaxed and better about the future.
Well, (not for the first time) this training came in handy last weekend.
Turns out my recent no-pain-yet-annoying-health-issue was due to a fibroid. Took me ages to pinpoint that, but when I did, thankfully, Dr. Berg showed me what to do. Ten days later, it was 'sloughed away'. (I'm skipping a zillion details, but I refuse to have As I See It Now become an old lady's illness ramblings.)
Anyway, I became a bit anemic, so I needed Tom's help and now I could relax while he cooked me some grass-fed ground beef, and fed the cats, and filled the dishwasher, etc.
The lessons in all this? Many, really, but Life does become easier when we daily seek wisdom and balance. Go living with those and our days will make more sense and even become easier.
No really, they will.
"Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold." Proverbs 3:13
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Some links for different interests:
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"The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding." --- Proverbs 4:7
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"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15
2 comments:
I sure am glad you're feeling better! And how great is it that Tom was able to help care for you. I need to "encourage" my husband to start doing more to help. After he had his stroke, I sort of took over. That was understandable then, but now that he's doing better, maybe it's time to get back in the groove. Debra, I don't know where you get your graphics, but I just love that crazy lady at the top of the post. I think many of us identify with her. And I must copy the "Butterflies rest..." and put it where I can read it and re-read it, often. Thank you for telling us the truth, making us laugh, and building us up. Love you!
Pam--thank-you much for your well wishes! And I'm so glad this post reminded you of some good things and that you liked the crazy woman image. :) I appreciate your encouraging comments more than you know and always anticipate them. Love you, too! <3
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