"No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize... We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ ..." --- 1 Corinthians 9:27, 2 Corinthians 10:5
******
Right off? Some of you will vehemently disagree. But hey, this was my experience so what are ya gonna do? シ
Lately, everybody (it seems) and her Aunt Betty has quipped, "It's okay to not feel/be okay." When even my favorite teacher said it, I thought, "Hmm. That's odd. Doesn't sound like her at all."
To be fair, I didn't listen many minutes to anyone who stated this. Did they even quote any scripture for it? All I felt was uneasy, like, "There's something 'off' about giving permission to stay 'under'."
Of course, I understand the reasoning. None of us should feel guilty if we have a bad day. We shouldn't assume anyone is having 24/7 joy, success, victory. Life can be difficult--even tragic!
But I'm not talking about recovering after tragedy (in case you wondered). No, I get needing time and quiet to heal.
Today I mean--for me--there's just something weird about allowing oneself to sink, say, for more than a day and to not seek to feel and be better again. To choose even a temporary just-go-with-the-sad-flow lifestyle.
Anyway, recently I woke up feeling, OLD. Tired.
Like, weary of the occasional dizziness and that fatty cyst on my head and praying daily both will dissolve. Tired of too many friends having covid right now. Tired of workmen in my house (the latest ones installed new basement outlets and rewired what guys had done wrong and today the inspector might/not arrive). Tired of certain folks' attitude toward me and their snippy words. And okay, tired of our corrupt government and needing to wait patiently with anticipation for God to make huge corrections.
So. This will sound funny, but that morning I thought, "Hey. I'm gonna try out that 'It's okay to not feel okay' thing.
I won't remind myself of 'be strong' Bible verses. I'll give myself a break. Won't watch what I say or speak firmly to myself to knock-off the self-pity thoughts. Won't search for others to encourage or for corrective teaching; I'll just read cozy books, watch Youtube and if I sulk, I'll remind myself I'm taking a day off from seeking God's manifest presence and being strong in Him. I'm allowing myself to not be okay."
Oh my goodness. Worst day I'd had in years! I hated it.
And Honey, I'm never gonna try that experiment again. No way. No, no, no.
Maybe I won't 'strike a blow to my body' like the Apostle Paul mentioned, but I'll never again give it that much slack. Instead, if something feels wonky, I'll seek more of God and ask Him how to repair it. Where to go. And how I climbed down to those low places. Where/why/when I took wrong steps. And how to climb up and stay out!
Well, you get it. And as always, you're totally free to live as you wish.
But as for me, dear Reader, the next time I don't feel okay, I'll ask God for clarity and help. He provides a daily joy to those willing to make sacrifices of humility for it--
--and oh, that's what I want. The daily joy which translates to every day strength.
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." --- James 1:2-4
The shorter time one lets herself go, the faster she (and God) will be able to pull her back together.
"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." --- James 4:10
*******
Oh, and I'm not talking about taking the occasional day off. We all need those! No, again for clarification, I'm talking about living with being down and not asking (or expecting) God to lift us back up.
******
Not feeling too Christmassy around the house yet? This may help.
Did you know the Angela Lansbury film, Mrs 'arris Goes to Paris is free at Youtube?
Wow, the most relaxing video, ever. Watch this especially if you love the snow, but not actually being out in it. ツ
"We are hardpressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8-9)
***
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15
Drink more water.
ReplyDeleteJust trying to say something helpful! 😄 Have a good day.
Debra, thank you for being honest about how physical challenges can throw us off track in life. Pain and grief can derail us for a while, but if we remain open to God, He will help us through the difficulties, somehow. I'm glad you shared your experience with us.
ReplyDeleteI watched the Girl in the Forest and fell in love with her little cabin in the woods. Oh my. I'd like one for Christmas!!
Sandi--ha! Thanks. Some days I do great with water. Other days I'm like, "Water? What's water?" :) Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeletePam--thank-you for letting me know you watched Girl in the Woods and yes! I'd like a litte cabin, too. Well, one with electric heat cuz for years we did heat solely by wood and that got old fast--and I was young back then! heh. :) And thanks for your kind words about not feeling well. I'm still not 100 percent and appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Thank-you, Ladies! Blessings, Debra