That rest I spoke of in my last post? Mine has been a mental one mostly. Oh, a bit of a spiritual rest as well, but mostly mental and you know? Being physically tired is easy to recognize, but a mental tiredness is more subtle.
Being mentally worn-out can be like walking around in a fog. We're still walking, still moving forward, but not in the I love life! way we used to. No, it's more like a I-just-need-to-survive-today thing and far too easy to grow used to.
God created us for much better and sometimes we just need to be shakened awake from that misty fog from which we've grown accustomed.
Why have I, these past weeks, needed my mental rest? I'll give you a short list, one which perhaps you can identify with, if only a little. (Each of these could have a 100-word explanation--please keep that in mind.)
Tom came home to work and pretty much my 40 years of do-what-I-want-when-I-want homemaking, ended. Forever. If a day comes when he's required to return to the office full-time, Tom will most likely retire, though he loves his job (the post polio thing, etc. is involved).
The months-long caring for an ailing cat nearly around the clock (with fading grace) wore me out (in all ways) far more than I told you.
Watching cities being burned down and violated by clueless thugs was shocking. Seeing evil take over our government was even more so.
We had to grow used to our daughter living on the streets in her van and trying not to worry about her staying warm in the winter (and now cool in the summer).
Our local cafe, my only real getaway place, closed for months.
The having to wear a mask when I felt it was stupid, well, the going against my conscience was upsetting.
The exposure of before-unknown chasms between friends and I was emotionally rough.
We had plumbing problems (drainage) pretty much the entire year. Finally they were taken care of, ($1,300 later), when invasive roots were discovered.
I've still not reseeded the trench the electricians left when they ran electricity to our garage and added outside outlets to the house.
Immediately the robins built nests in the new garage light. Daily with a rake I had to reach up to take them down. (The robins incorporated the shiny swirly stuff meant to scare them.) For over a month they also built nests over our dining room window. At least 120 times I've used the rake to remove those. I. Hate. Robins. ツ
I've listened to hundreds of hours of preachers, teachers and pundits in order to learn and to stay relevant in our changing world. (And watching them being 'cancelled' is horrible.) I've aimed extra to listen to God, to share the words He asks me to.
Many were the nights I awakened at 3:00 a.m. to make stock-up and grocery lists. To find ways to store our supplies and oh, all the groceries I put away after their deliveries in the mornings.
Actually, my days felt like they were on fast-forward. And even though, all along, I've known God's incredible peace, still, these shocks took a toll, what with their intensity and my being human, after all. (The Christians who cannot admit their humanity? They concern me.)
While reading Joyce Meyer's, How To Age Without Getting Older book, I'm seeing my mental rest is exactly right. For me. For right now.
As I said in my last post:
The quota on unhealed wounded healers is, I believe, full.
God knows my heart's wish is to help others. That's all that's left, basically, for me to do. He also knows that my resting time with extra doses of Him will enable me to do that better, His way, for years to come.
"Sometimes when I share with people that my doctor prescribed 18 months of rest for me, they respond as I did. They don't know how to rest. They, too, want to know what to do while they rest. The point isn't that we need to sit and do absolutely nothing in order to be resting, but that we need to do something that is relaxing and enjoyable. It can be anything that isn't work related. Different things bring refreshment to different people and each of us needs to find our own pathway to get the result we need."
--Joyce Meyer, from her book, How To Age Without Getting Old
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!" ---Psalm 37:7
Evil lasts for a season. God, His love and joy last forever.
Thanks for sharing this at Facebook, Tracy!
Please remember: My posts are always about more than they appear to be.
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15