When a Dream Dies, Another Pops Up. But Only If We Believe.

"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom"    .--Psalm 90:12

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I don't mind this early winter cold weather. Honest.

But oh, my legs do. Go running up and down our stairs, take my walk, work on prepping for Real Wintertime and do all the detailed tasks a homemaker does? Well, (like yesterday) my legs start feeling pulled downward like by magnets and they cry, "For heaven's sake, lie down."

I'd forgotten about this. 

Oh, I did wonder last summer at my ability to arise from the couch easily, without first needing to take slow, stiff steps before quicker, smoother ones.

But oh yeah. Now I remember. When my legs grow tired, the cold seeps into them (somehow), not making them chilled, but rather, oh-so-weary. (So this is why the elderly move to Arizona! I get it now.)

I talked this over with Tom last night. 

I reminded him about those older folks we've known who, while in their wheelchairs or walkers, told us, "When our ship comes in! Oh, we're gonna build the house we've talked about for years." Or, "Someday we'll climb those Spanish Steps we saw on tv." Or, "See that pile of boards out there? We're gonna build a big shed for our motorcycles and snowmobiles."

And always, Tom and I nodded and said, "Oh wow! That'll be awesome," while knowing darn well they'll do none of that. And felt sad for them.

But it's a crime (we believe) to use our words to destroy anyone's dreams. We can't do that. Dreams are vital for health, actually--even the Bible says so.


"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keeps the law, happy is he" ... Proverbs 29:18.


(And yes, it also translates that folks wander into trouble without a godly vision, but that fits my example,also.)

Anyway.  

Yesterday ol' Tired Legs Debra realized no, she cannot squeeze in one more move to a house before her final move to the old folks independent/assisted living home.

She just can't. And Tom said he can't, either.

And so, the dream died. The one where we buy another cheapo house 'round here to give me something to decorate, my very favorite hobby in the world. With my too easily wearied legs, I'd never survive the packing, the moving, the selling of Hobbit Cottage, the renovating of another place, the decorating, cleaning and yard work and -----

No, especially with Tom's post polio stuff and Debra's post TheOldGreyGooseSheAin'tWhatSheUsedToBe stuff, well, not gonna happen.

Of course, this shook me and made me sad. A dead dream is a crushing thing and for two years, in the back of my mind, I've watched it happen and have worked on acceptance (and skipped writing 30 blog posts about it). But now it's in the forefront--and finally, I believe I'm coming around to Truth--without the distaste. Or as much distaste, maybe.

But you know? Facing this truth will save me, us, from making others sad if we kept speaking of our impossible dreams as older folks have before us. Oh my, I don't want to do that to anyone. And too, I want to speak truth. That means much to me.

So what to do, instead? Find some new dreams, Debra. Find some new dreams.

And I can do that, I really can--good dreams, as good as original, different ones I'd dreamt of, even. If God will help me.

And with all my heart--I believe He will. Especially now that we're on the same page.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope."  ... Romans 15:13


“The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.” 
― Jean-Paul Sartre



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So in the meantime, I'm learning to be extra-grateful for the things I can still do. 

Like, I can creatively find ways to get organized so that gasp! I can actually find things around here--quickly. Imagine.

And in that vein, finally (after a year+) Walmart got their spiffy white bookcases back in stock so I ordered one, then heaved the box upstairs, put it all together then squeeezed it beside a couple others. This makes the 8th set I've put together up there(!), but hey.

What else are ya gonna do when you buy a house with no built-in storage?

The more shelves I get, the more contented I become. Whatever works, right? 😃


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Speaking of prepping for Winter (and having legs too tired to shop out amongst the maddening crowds), you should see all the groceries I've had delivered via Walmart or Target.

Color us Winter-ready, well, for the first part.

Now, I gave a list to a friend of what I order online and she was surprised at all the loot one can have dropped off at ones door. 

So for the benefit of anyone else who finds herself slowing down, requiring a little groceries-right-to-your-door assistance, here's a partial list of things you, too, may not have thought could be sent right to you (saving your energy for something else) --


avocado oil, baked beans, baking cocoa, bathroom tissue, birdseed, canned cranberries, canned chicken or canned vegetables, cat food and litter, coffee, cookies, cough drops, powdered creamer, crackers, dish detergent, dishwasher detergent and rinse, flour, dried fruit, foundation (make-up), fruit juice, garlic powder, hair conditioner, kitchen trash bags (or any), ketchup, Kleenex, lemon juice,  laundry detergent, lip balm, lipstick, macaroni and cheese, mascara, mustard, olive oil, onion powder, Parmesan, pasta, pepper, relish, rice, rock salt, salsa, salt, shampoo, suet, sugar, vitamins ... and so much more.


Whew. 

And anyone else remember the days when we'd catalog-shop and they'd say, "Please allow 6 - 8 weeks for delivery"? See? Somethings really are better these days.

And may we remember--and count them as blessings.

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Oh! My friend who I'm believing will be healed of cancer wanted me to be sure to thank each of you for praying for her. This is what she wrote:


PLEASE thank your readers who added me to their prayers. . .this is so sincerely appreciated. I am praying for them . . ."for the needs of friends I have not yet met" and with thanks for the prayers.


She's such a sweetheart--please continue praying and believing along with her, ok? Thanks so much.


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"Walk ... with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love." ... Ephesians 4:2