"Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" .--Psalm 90:12
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I don't mind this early winter cold weather. Honest.
But oh, my legs do. Go running up and down our stairs, take my walk, work on prepping for Real Wintertime and do all the detailed tasks a homemaker does? Well, (like yesterday) my legs start feeling pulled downward like by magnets and they cry, "For heaven's sake, lie down."
I'd forgotten about this.
Oh, I did wonder last summer at my ability to arise from the couch easily, without first needing to take slow, stiff steps before quicker, smoother ones.
But oh yeah. Now I remember. When my legs grow tired, the cold seeps into them (somehow), not making them chilled, but rather, oh-so-weary. (So this is why the elderly move to Arizona! I get it now.)
I talked this over with Tom last night.
I reminded him about those older folks we've known who, while in their wheelchairs or walkers, told us, "When our ship comes in! Oh, we're gonna build the house we've talked about for years." Or, "Someday we'll climb those Spanish Steps we saw on tv." Or, "See that pile of boards out there? We're gonna build a big shed for our motorcycles and snowmobiles."
And always, Tom and I nodded and said, "Oh wow! That'll be awesome," while knowing darn well they'll do none of that. And felt sad for them.
But it's a crime (we believe) to use our words to destroy anyone's dreams. We can't do that. Dreams are vital for health, actually--even the Bible says so.
"Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keeps the law, happy is he" ... Proverbs 29:18.
(And yes, it also translates that folks wander into trouble without a godly vision, but that fits my example,also.)
Anyway.
Yesterday ol' Tired Legs Debra realized no, she cannot squeeze in one more move to a house before her final move to the
She just can't. And Tom said he can't, either.
And so, the dream died. The one where we buy another cheapo house 'round here to give me something to decorate, my very favorite hobby in the world. With my too easily wearied legs, I'd never survive the packing, the moving, the selling of Hobbit Cottage, the renovating of another place, the decorating, cleaning and yard work and -----
No, especially with Tom's post polio stuff and Debra's post TheOldGreyGooseSheAin'tWhatSheUsedToBe stuff, well, not gonna happen.
Of course, this shook me and made me sad. A dead dream is a crushing thing and for two years, in the back of my mind, I've watched it happen and have worked on acceptance (and skipped writing 30 blog posts about it). But now it's in the forefront--and finally, I believe I'm coming around to Truth--without the distaste. Or as much distaste, maybe.
But you know? Facing this truth will save me, us, from making others sad if we kept speaking of our impossible dreams as older folks have before us. Oh my, I don't want to do that to anyone. And too, I want to speak truth. That means much to me.
So what to do, instead? Find some new dreams, Debra. Find some new dreams.
And I can do that, I really can--good dreams, as good as original, different ones I'd dreamt of, even. If God will help me.
And with all my heart--I believe He will. Especially now that we're on the same page.
“The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.”
―
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So in the meantime, I'm learning to be extra-grateful for the things I can still do.
Like, I can creatively find ways to get organized so that gasp! I can actually find things around here--quickly. Imagine.
And in that vein, finally (after a year+) Walmart got their spiffy white bookcases back in stock so I ordered one, then heaved the box upstairs, put it all together then squeeezed it beside a couple others. This makes the 8th set I've put together up there(!), but hey.
What else are ya gonna do when you buy a house with no built-in storage?
The more shelves I get, the more contented I become. Whatever works, right? 😃
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Speaking of prepping for Winter (and having legs too tired to shop out amongst the maddening crowds), you should see all the groceries I've had delivered via Walmart or Target.
Color us Winter-ready, well, for the first part.
Now, I gave a list to a friend of what I order online and she was surprised at all the loot one can have dropped off at ones door.
So for the benefit of anyone else who finds herself slowing down, requiring a little groceries-right-to-your-door assistance, here's a partial list of things you, too, may not have thought could be sent right to you (saving your energy for something else) --
avocado oil, baked beans, baking cocoa, bathroom tissue, birdseed, canned cranberries, canned chicken or canned vegetables, cat food and litter, coffee, cookies, cough drops, powdered creamer, crackers, dish detergent, dishwasher detergent and rinse, flour, dried fruit, foundation (make-up), fruit juice, garlic powder, hair conditioner, kitchen trash bags (or any), ketchup, Kleenex, lemon juice, laundry detergent, lip balm, lipstick, macaroni and cheese, mascara, mustard, olive oil, onion powder, Parmesan, pasta, pepper, relish, rice, rock salt, salsa, salt, shampoo, suet, sugar, vitamins ... and so much more.
Whew.
And anyone else remember the days when we'd catalog-shop and they'd say, "Please allow 6 - 8 weeks for delivery"? See? Somethings really are better these days.
And may we remember--and count them as blessings.
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Oh! My friend who I'm believing will be healed of cancer wanted me to be sure to thank each of you for praying for her. This is what she wrote:
PLEASE thank your readers who added me to their prayers. . .this is so sincerely appreciated. I am praying for them . . ."for the needs of friends I have not yet met" and with thanks for the prayers.
She's such a sweetheart--please continue praying and believing along with her, ok? Thanks so much.
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"Walk ... with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love." ... Ephesians 4:2
Debra, how can I even begin to comment on such a post? You have hit the nail on the proverbial head with me in so many ways with this post today. Oh, Dennis and I have had such plans and dreams. And, I fear this nasty old back of mine and feet of mine are going to put an end to those dreams. Well, I will keep on dreaming for a few more years until I know for sure. The thought of another move makes me shudder. I used to look up on moves as an adventure. What has happened to us?
ReplyDeleteI haven’t tried the delivery yet from the grocery stores. I must confess that that is my time away. I need to get out of the house at some point. I will keep praying for your friend. What a lovely attitude she has.
Many blessings always, Betsy
I agree with Betsy, Debra you HAVE hit the nail on the head!!! What surprises me is how one day you feel strong and the next, you struggle to walk around. That happened to me this week. When you mentioned that it happens to you when cold weather moves in, I began to wonder if that is my problem, too.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm still trying to convince my husband that we seriously need to consider moving closer to our kids, but he doesn't seem too concerned. One thing I admired most about my parents, prior to their passing, was the way they downsized and moved to a much smaller home. It just makes good sense to me.
Although you and Tom might have some mixed feelings about letting go of some dreams, how wise you were to choose a home that you can manage as the years go by! I've always thought that your home is warm and inviting--you've got it decorated so well. Just relax and enjoy your lives!!
Debra I do understand about the tired legs! I’ve had that off and on for a long time as well. But, I’m wondering if you’ve checked into it say with your doctor. Or read any side effects of medications you may be taking. I was in bad shape until I quit taking my statins for cholesterol. My legs were or so tired and weak and aching. I could hardly
ReplyDeleteClimb stairs. But I am so much better off it. My
Cholesterol is not seriously high, although my doctor knows I don’t want to go
Back on it and understands and agrees with me that this is a common problem. She would like me to but doesn’t push me too. My husband was
Having terrible pain in his ankles
While taking it and after my improvement quit his as well. He could not believe the change!
I’d certainly consider
This if you are taking any!
Even our nurse daughter agrees this is a valid thing!
We always exchange one problem for another when we take medications.
I’m just not willing to live that way!
I hope you find some answers. I take aleve daily also, which helps. (Even that can have side effects)
Prayers for your friend with cancer. It is so terrible. May God heal her and give her health and peace.
Betsy--thank so much and I'm glad this was timely for you. The older we get, Tom and I are finding, the more changes we have to make just to do the simple things. Hope we get it all figured out and running smoothly someday--ha!
ReplyDeletePam-- I love that your parents downsized like that. I was thinking about that the other day--how I don't want to do it now, but really, someday I'm thinking it'll make things much easier for Naomi. Oh and I would relax and enjoy our home and yet? It's the decorating that brings me the most joy. Ninety-five percent of that is over, so uh-oh. That's why I'm currently searching for as of yet unthought-of ways to keep doing that. Stay tuned.
Linda--I'm not taking any meds and am pretty determined not to do so unless, say, I feel like I'm dying. heh. Tom takes some though, but he works pretty closely with his doctor to stay on top of it all. Thanks for your advice and hopefully we'll all get through another cold, wet winter with our minds and bodies still in tact--ha! :)
Thanks, Everyone! Blessings, Debra