As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!". ... 1 Corinthians 12:20,21
"Oh, that we'd feel grateful for what humbles us."
Ol' Debra enjoys unsolved mysteries type of stuff, but not this one.
In my quest to darken the too-light font of my blog posts from 10+ years ago, last week I realized something dreadful.
My early posts were wordy, wordy, wordy and written as though I'd forgotten every English composition class I'd sat through in high school and college.
Scarily, though, I believed I was using those lessons.
Man, what happened? I'd spend one to two hours on those posts, but doing what? Thinking what? Where was my head that I thought those posts were polished, tight, ready for your eyes?
This mystery made me queasy for days.
Oh, what I wrote was okay (gratefully, I'm still--mostly--satisfied with that), but the way I wrote it? Ghastly. Rambling. Trite and rife with juvenile composition errors.
Oooo, this shook me with self-doubt. (What else am I doing/believing is correct, but isn't?) So I asked God, "What was the problem back then?"
Basically He replied, "Pride. You believed you didn't need to study writing, listen to advice and practice like everyone else just because I was speaking through you."
But gah. I know (now) there's no skipping steps and cheating allowed with God and oh my. I recalled how other writers spoke of spending more time polishing, tweaking, than writing their original pieces. I didn't need to do that, right?
Ouch. Sounds horrible now and last weekend I struggled with condemnation badly, like, for the first time in years.
But God kept saying keep it at conviction. Be humbled and grow, learn and change. Allow this lesson to spread across other of your Life and ministry landscapes.
And I can do that. I can move on, remembering this:
We need each other. Forget the You-and-me-against-the-world lie. Instead, we need what others were sent to inspire, teach and lift us up in prayer and aid to do. God won't allow anyone to go it absolutely alone: those places are foggy breeding grounds for pride.
And although I can't comprehend how I forgot my high school writing basics when I began this blog-- I forgave myself. Learned from my past, lessons for my future and now I'm editing, with Grace, hundreds of old posts. Enjoying it, actually, though oh dear; this will require months' of work.
Yet whatever God asks me to do? It floats down with a joy which translates to strength, which leads to a consistent, joyful inner life. Oh, how I need Him, Grace--and you.
Oh, how we all need each other.
You're not a writer? I hope you'll parallel this to an area of your life where you tend to 'go it alone' in a stubborn, independence fashion.
"When Moses' hands grew tired, they took a stone and put it under him and he sat on it. Aaron and Hur held his hands up--one on one side, one on the other--so that his hands remained steady till sunset." ... Exodus 17:12
We'll never, this side of Heaven, understand everything. That's where trust enters. True trust requires unanswered questions and leads to an 'anyway peace'.
When we seek for connection, we restore the world to wholeness. Our seemingly separate lives become meaningful as we discover how truly necessary we are to each other.
Had to laugh at what I shared via Facebook--
Yes, I'm easily amused. Saw a post on a local group about keeping your fur babies inside because hawks were circling.
One commenter asked, "What is a fur baby?"
Someone answered: "A small werewolf child."
Oh, my colorful Bohemian side likes these--
(Yes, a bit busy. Humor me.) シ
The posts that I was speaking of? Ones from 2004 to around 2008.
And now I must give a seriously huge thanks to those of you who've read here even during those early years when my writing style was--if not garbage--something close. ツ
I appreciate your hanging in there with me!