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Remember how I've amassed the best library in all of New York state, that is, for me? Well, days ago God asked me to aim for releasing half of my books. Half!
So am I bummed-out? Resentful? No. Oddly this is my favorite project since stocking my shelves with food all prepper-like.
See, on these mornings when I'm nearly risking my life (in my mind, anyway) to just water my gardens out in all that humidity, the day's remainder I'm lolling upon the red couch, reading. With dusty fingers I'm skimming books--
the ones I'm not certain I'll keep forever
books I'd forgotten I owned
ones I'd not reread in decades
books I'm only oh-hum about.
Any books I don't love nor require for my temporary wall of books (don't ask)? I'll drag to the Salvation Army drop-off bin down the street. That is, when the weather cools.
The kindness of God and Grace! The wonder that they can give me the 'want to' regarding letting go of things.
On these humidity-off-the-charts days when, even with air-conditioning, I'm just a shell of my former self, they've presented me with a delightful-though-significant project. About the only type of job I can handle on a hot summer's day.
Reading and sorting! On a steamy June afternoon even I can handle reading and sorting.
Actually, this all came after my epiphany while mowing the lawn last week, the one where--while the rusted lawn mower spat-out tree droppings at my face and I sneezed (and sneezed) and sweated-- I whispered, "I can't do this anymore! After 40 years of lawn-mowing, I quit."
And yes, you who still mow your lawn at age 70+, I'm probably being a baby. But one thing I've learned to recognize? Grace. While she's still here or when she's left the building (or yard, in my case).
Following my pride/bright ideas or keeping-up with the big kids instead of Grace, will lead only to struggle.
Grace sees ahead. She shows me what can stay and what must go so to make my final years, easier. Simpler. Grace and God wish to save me from the unnecessary exertion of caring for items no longer meaningful.
Items Grace removed her blessing from a very long time ago will never serve me well in the future, and hey, I'm believing for better.
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." --- Isaiah 43:18,19
"As we age, we will face different types of opposition... Does opposition weaken your resolve and discourage or even depress you--or does it make you all the more determined to keep pressing forward?"
--- Joyce Meyer from her book, How To Age Without Getting Old
--- Joyce Meyer from her book, How To Age Without Getting Old
If, at an advanced age, I'm stuck with cleaning things I no longer enjoy or need, it will be because I did not act with wisdom while I still could.
What I'm also doing lately? Watching 50-year-old reruns of Let's Make a Deal at Youtube.
Fun, but bittersweet as well, for oh my! All those young folks are 50 years older now. Or gone. Alas.
But still, I watch. And wonder what kinds of lives they lived. ツ
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Had to smile!
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"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." ... Matthew 6:14,15