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Yesterday after I replaced furniture I'd moved on Thursday for Carpet Cleaner Guys and wiped down the kitchen cabinets and ironed-- I gazed wearily at our green wall and the fireplace with all its dishes, books and chachke upon it and the nearby hutch with all its similar eye-clutter and uh-oh!
"What was I thinking?" I asked myself. "All that little stuff! A entire wall of it. How did I ever think that looked good? How long have I been decorating, anyway-- a mere six months?"
Almost did I feel nauseous. Chachke-overwhelmed. Yick.
Immediately, I pulled my weary self from the couch then shoved and yanked and transferred everything back where it'd been before. (Gotta love a movable fireplace, though.)
Afterward, wow. I felt so stiff --yet thrilled. Relieved. The living room felt right, peaceful and made sense again.
But oh dear. That means that--truly--there's only one way to arrange it. Only one! What a near-tragedy for creative, let's-rearrange-and-paint-and-redecorate-again types like me.
In all rooms of this small house (it seems) I'm at the Just One More Picture, Chair Or Lamp And The Whole House Will Feel Off-Kilter phase. Tilt, tilt tilt. Darn.
Now, you non-decorator types may find my angst, silly. But just imagine never being able to do your favorite hobby again. Never! Or as I told Tom--it would be like him never, ever watching another war movie. (I think I saw him become dizzy at that thought. He seems to understand me better now.)
But here's the thing: I tried finding another house to buy, but crashed against brick walls. No grace, no God in that tedious search.
No, only after acceptance of this --
It's folly to want what God does not want for me. Folly and foolish and a huge waste of time and a life--
--did I hear truth. Truth like, rather than imagining a different house, imagine your house, differently. Ramp-up your creativity. See this all as an awesome challenge. Get excited about having to dig deeper. Give away what you only tolerate so you can replace it with what you love.
Etc., etc.
Well, I'm much closer, but oh, the 'mental working through' that it took! The submitting. The dying to a wonderful dream. The acceptance. (Embarrassingly, it took months. Rough-in-my-head ones. Alas.)
But now, finally, at Hobbit Cottage it's onward and upward. There'll be lots more fixing what irritates me, improving what I can, using the imagination God gave me and accepting what cannot be changed.
And as long as I let God guide my attitude, it'll be a good-for-me adventure.
Stay tuned to see if that actually happens. 😏
Take it from ol' stubborn me--accept that God knows what's best for us, for He really does, you know.
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”
― J.K. Rowling
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Oh, and I'll probably lower the ol' Blue Boy painting (see photo at top). I had to hang it higher when the fireplace stood there.
Or perhaps I'll leave it up there. 😏
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Need some vintage inspiration lately (as I have)? This is a fun book which will get you cleaning house like the best little 50's homemaker on the block--
It's a newer book, but its tips and hints were snatched from nifty vintage homemaking books. Lots of old-fashioned art, too, like this --
P.S. But eegads! Everyone knows the best way to soften brown sugar is to place an apple slice in the bag/canister. Tsk., tsk.
These blogs might help, also-- Top Vintage Blogs.
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I'm waving at you, can you tell? Because I do think you're walking now in Total Acceptance Land.
ReplyDeleteI constantly go through the same urges to change something and there's really not too many other ways our rooms here can go but my husband too would die not being able to watch another war movie and I'll keep trying to work out the kinks but also to be happy with what definitely works.
Love your link a few posts back on sit down gardening, and love the pic of the gardener in it!