Live and Learn

Remember how I posted about the possibility of Tom taking a job in California and how upsetting it was that he would consider such a wild and crazy thing?

Well, now I'm sorry I even brought it up. 

For one thing, it's looking like it won't happen. So basically, I didn't need to say anything at all. Darn.

Or perhaps it could still happen--we don't know for certain yet. Let's just say we've been at peace about it either way. We've not lost a bit of sleep over it--at least, not for a few months. Not since we asked God what we should do and He gave us the perfect, peace-loaded answer.

I guess I'm most sorry about mentioning it in the first place (now, hang in there with me till the end) because I've always been a private person. I've never phoned everybody I know for advice or raced around, whining to whole crowds, "What do you think I should do?" Never.

For one thing, most people don't even know what God wants them to do, let alone me, too. Something else? I'd rather ask God first and then let other people confirm what He told me, often without my even telling them any of the details. The confirmation thing happens a lot. That generally works out best.

But those posts I wrote here (and my emails to lots of old friends) weren't asking for advice, either, but they sure did bring in a lot of it, nonetheless. It was like hearing from tons of people who are not me telling me what I should do. Like inviting 300 of my closest friends (heh) to give me their opinion when all I wanted was to just be listened to--

--and patted on the head and told everything will be all right. But it was more like being told 300 different things in 300 different ways how I should feel about California and what Tom and I should do.

What was I thinking??

And now I regret the whole thing. And I have learned my lesson. 

Well, I can hope so, anyway. I mean, I've not even mentioned that just because God was appearing to give grace to Tom and I to live apart for while, that doesn't mean He was giving grace to everyone who heard our decision. That came through (loudly! Clearly!)and I regret how it bothered some people just to think about it. 

Grace is so precious--it is sometimes like Mary Poppins' spoonful of sugar which helps the medicine go down. (And how sad that I just know that will ruffle some religious feathers. But sometimes you just can't please everyone, so you must just aim to please God.) 

So anyway, I do apologize if that possibility of living apart chatter saddened anyone.

After talking it over with God and Tom, what I should have done--because I did need to share the burden with someone else since it felt like such a big deal--was to just share this burden with one or two friends who I trust. Not the entire Blogland and Email Kingdoms.

Sometimes I forget that this online world is like a whole other life I am leading. And no wonder I (and others as I've seen) sometimes become overwhelmed and have to step away for a few days. 

God is helping me learn how to handle both my Real Life and this online one, but it's taking awhile. A. Long. While. So I, truly, appreciate your patience.

******


Just a little poll: Have you ever shared something in your blog which you wish you hadn't? You don't have to tell me what it was. I'd just like to know I'm not the only one.