Clarifying Just a Tad

You know my post below, the one called, Trying to Share What I Didn't Have? Not always do I say clearly what I believe (drats). I received a couple questions, so --

I do realize right where we are, wherever and whatever we are--so very far from perfection--we can and should help people. We can always make ourselves, our shoulders, available to cry upon. And God appreciates that so much, especially when, rather than hiding ourselves away in a corner during our own times of grief, we, instead, dry our tears and knock at the door of a hurting friend.

I do believe and realize those things. For decades I've tried to do them.

But I guess what I tried to say was that there came a time in my life when for me, I dreaded hearing people say just one more time, "Debra is so thoughtful. Debra is such an encourager. Debra writes such sweet, uplifting notes."

There came a day when I realized Debra was being thanked, appreciated. She was the great encourager, the awesome letter-writing-poet and a darn nice woman.

And it made me sick.

Seriously. I mean it.

There is a different way to live and be. I know--because I have lived both ways. 

And this way I live now? Tt's far and away better.

It is better to let God drain me out of me. The me who had way too much of me invested in every kind, thoughtful thing I did. The me whose self esteem got high on being appreciated.

And oh! It's a million times better to let God fill the newly-empty parts with Himself, to be joy-filled when others recognize that God showed His kindness through me, just a vessel. That He was the encourager, the helper, the giver.

And another wonderful thing? Very, very seldom do I now hear anyone say, "Debra is so thoughtful."

Thank-goodness. If I never heard it again, that would be marvelous.

Why? Because now what people tell me is, "God spoke through you at just the right moment. Only He could've known that I needed to hear that. He showed me He still loves me by that one thing you did. I needed someone to do that for me."

Do you hear the difference? 

It shines and sings differently like night and day. God is praised, not me. God is the thoughtful one and I am simply the carrier of his love notes.

People try talking me out of this 'Jar Life', but that's Life the way I want it. The way I love and live it. Being filled, then emptied, filled, then emptied. 

And always returning to the fountain for more of Him.


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"So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." ... 1 Corinthians 3:7


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