Monday, July 11, 2005

No One Has It All


I just finished watching the second part of Oprah's interview with Brooke Shields concerning Brooke's postpartum depression. I remember after I watched the first half months ago, some women bloggers sounded quite surprised that someone as gorgeous and wealthy as Brooke could ever be depressed. Some of them even questioned the validity of Brooke's incredible struggle as though being a beautiful, famous celebrity would, of course, make one immune from such problems.

Well, I was shocked, too--shocked that anyone could believe that wealth and beauty and stardom would totally satisfy, fulfill and guard anyone from deep pain.

But then I reminded myself that many years ago I used to make my own share of "If only..." statements. "If only I was gorgeous like ____, then I would be happy." Or "If only I had more money, then I would be happy and content." "If only I was thinner/well-known/living in a bigger house/driving a better car/had more friends/had more opportunities to teach...blah...blah...blah.... then I would be happier/more fulfilled/able to do more/ and just generally a much better/kinder/freer person."

It took me a few years, but I finally woke up.

I could have each and every one of those things, and still--still--not one of them would fulfill and satisfy me for me than just a little while. Only Jesus brings with Him any permanent satisfaction. Only in Him have I ever found true joy, peace and contentment--anything-- which lasted more than a few months.

Trust me, I spent quite a few years looking in lots of other places for what only Jesus gives me now every day of my life. I am grateful beyond words that fortunately, I looked in 'nice' places and not the terribly scarey places where some people search. But no matter, even in those nice places I kept hitting brick walls--no real, lasting peace or anything else of lasting goodness. Just a whole lot of frustration and discontent because God designed it that way--that the more I searched in places where He was not, the more I relied upon other things and other people to make me happy--the more unhappy I became.

I am never going back to where I once was... Yet even as my title says, no one has it all. Not even Christians. Why not? Because if we did, we'd lose our sense of needing God every single moment of our lives. We'd also feel like we didn't need other people, too. We like to believe that could never, ever happen to us, but it could...it would... because of these earthly bodies we now occupy("The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?" ... Jeremiah 17:9). These hearts like to take control and run with it.

Jesus likes to keep us needy... needy for Him... needy for that which is true life.

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