Sunday, February 13, 2005

The Tests


In Journey School, nearly every day is Test Day. But you're not handed a paper nor is it written upon any blackboard. No, but Test Day was announced a very long time ago:

"You will remember all the way the Lord your God led you in the desert these forty years, to humble you, and how He tested you to know what was in your heart to see if you would keep His commandments or not." Deuteronomy 8:2

I try to live ready for Test Day--to study ahead and stay prepared--because one never knows when tests will appear.

When I understood tests must come, Life became clearer. Like, when Tom keeps making messes around the house--over and over and over--that is a Test Day.

Will I grow impatient with him and yell?
Will I accuse him of horrible motives for those messes?
Will I threaten to do certain things to retaliate?

(Correct Answer: None of the above.)

If I want an A... If I want to die to being right (and being Queen) and being ruled by my temper--I'll choose God's way of handling Tom's messes.

Oh, the tests!

The "We Don't Have Much Money So Will I Worry?" test.
The "Naomi Isn't Home Yet And There Are Sirens Blaring Outside So Will I Panic?" test.
The "Someone Spoke Unkindly To Me So Will I Get Offended?" test.
The "Will I Look At My Life Through Sad, Gloomy Glasses?" test.
The "Things Aren't Going My Way So Will I Race Around Trying To Gain Control?" test.
The "Will I Obey God and Risk Disappointing My Friends?" test.
The "I Don't Want To Wait For What I Want' test.

And hundreds more.

One must study to pass tests. These tests require humility in order to pass them. Tests require dying. Dying to all within me which is contrary to God.

Passing tests requires recognizing what is going on. It takes listening to good teaching. It takes help from my friends. But more, it takes help from God. It takes realizing when He is working on something inside me and then cooperating with that. Not suggesting that He move on to something less painful. Not working on something myself, alone, without Grace.

But oh the joy when I pass a test--because a little more ugliness in me died and is no longer alive enough to throw a fit. And fail.

And then new tests come. And new junk dies. And new tests come. And new junk dies.

And everyday becomes like college. Your best classes and your worst all entwined. And then to find God sitting at the desk next to yours, leaning over to help you with whatever you need to do.... Ah, Life is good!


***
"I die every day–I mean that, brothers–just as surely as I glory over you in Christ Jesus our Lord." ... I Corinthians 15:31

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