Thursday, January 13, 2005

Tired In a Good Way



Twenty years ago as a young wife and mother, I used to babysit a high school teacher's little boy. 

 One day the mother came into my house while I had two friends visiting and she told us, "I spent the weekend with my husband's family and by Sunday night, I was sick of hearing my own voice. I realized I had been talking, talking, talking for two days straight."

I've felt like that before. I've become sick of hearing my own voice at times, also.

And I've experienced becoming sick of other things--

Sick of feeling worried all the time.
Sick of doing my own thing.
Sick of wanting what I want, when I want it.
Sick of being upset.
Sick of being sad.
Sick of being afraid of new experiences.
Sick of being irritated with Tom and with Life ... etc., etc.

Sometimes I have been unable to change until I got sick of being the way I did not want to be. It's like I have to reach a point where I am too tired to keep fighting God. Too tired of holding the thing which is blocking my joy.

I love it when that happens--even though there's usually a little pain involved. When I stop fighting with God and just let Him make the necessary repairs in my foundation--without me giving Him advice--it's as though He's performing surgery. Sorely-needed corrective surgery.

I told a friend recently that I so do not want what I want. I want only what God wants for me.

She didn't get it. But that's ok. I am also sick of defending myself.

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3 comments:

  1. elzie1:30 AM

    Amen!
    I read religiously - and truthfully sometimes you are hard to read. Because I DO hear God here, and sometimes wanting what I WANT is not what I find in your words (His) ;-) Know what I mean?

    I SO know what you mean in your writing today. I too am sick of listening to MY WILL, it makes the world a harder (in a way difficult to explain to people who don't get it) and sicker place.

    I too don't wish to defend my faith - just live it!
    God Bless you!
    (biz - marblehead64@g.mail.com)

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  2. Saija8:17 AM

    the wonderful thing about reading blogs is that i come across people who can actually put down in black and white, what i am thinking . . . good post, Debra . . .

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  3. Debra8:12 PM

    Hi Biz... Thanks so much for letting me know you come here often! I do know exactly what you mean because I have 'been there, done that,' myself. :o) Again, thanks, and I hope you will keep dropping by here.
    And Saija--Your comments are always a blessing--thanks!
    God bless you both... Debra

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Thanks for your comments-- I love to read what you are thinking! If you are unable to comment, please contact me at gladone4@protonmail.com. Oh, and please be kind. Thank-you.