Monday, December 13, 2004

'Wasting Time With God'





Already, it's an amazing morning because of Kelly's amazing post, simply called rest

I so wish I could have attended her silent prayer retreat this weekend. Probably, though, I would have disappeared after meeting everyone, sneaking away to hike around the pastures with God. I love open spaces and there are none in my town, well, except for baseball fields.

You see, I became a Christian in a church where immediately afterward, you are told to go out and tell everyone all about Jesus. I laugh about that now because it's like instructing a newborn baby to return to the nursery and tell the other babies all about her parents. What is there to tell? She only just met them.

So as a new Christian I spent years feeling guilty because I wasn't going "to the work, to the work," (as the song says). I didn't know what to say to people because I didn't know Jesus--not really. I'd never taken the time to become friends with Him. So I felt guilty. And because I felt guilty, I wasn't happy. And because I wasn't happy, I thought I was a defective Christian. Life felt bleak at times and still, I didn't understand why.

Then ten years ago I began doing what Kelly tells about in her blog (this post, also). She tells it all better than I ever could, so please, go there and read, too.

Basically, around 1994 I said phooey on all this guilt and brittle,conditional happiness. And I started "wasting time" with God.

I sat with Him every spare moment I could find (or make). I stopped doing all the talking and let God talk to me. And that has made all the difference. 

I'd get out my Bible and let God explain things to me, instead of trying to figure them out myself. I'd sit and look out windows, dream, and slowly, I began to feel new life, new creativity flowing into what had been dry, parched places.

After months, guilt was replaced with peace. And joy. And somewhere along the way I noticed while on my neighborhood walks, Jesus' steps matched mine. He'd come along with me. We'd arrive home and watch TV, Him sitting beside me. (I would tell you about the times in 1995 when I'd get into my car and clear junk off the passenger seat so Jesus could sit there, except that you'd think I was crazy.)

But at least I am happy now. At least I have a friend who never disappoints me, one who's always here.

Knowing about God and knowing God for yourself--they are different.

There's a time when the Bridegroom gets tired of sitting and watching the Bride run around working, working, working. There comes a time when He wants her to sit down and just be with Him. To know Him intimately.

Thanks, Kelly, for reminding us.


*****


Be still, and know that I am God... Psalm 46:10

6 comments:

  1. Beautiful, Debra! You could write a devotional book. Your posts so often strike a chord in me, or even gently convict me. Have a wonderful day in Him!

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  2. Beautiful were my exact words as well! What a wonderful reminder, especially as we are celebrating Jesus birth! Thank You!

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  3. after a yucky weekend, your post & kelly's have put a tentative smile back on my face, hopefully the heart smile will follow soon . . . blessings, saija

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  4. Kelly is a very good artist but I got to say that you write it well to.

    Take Care
    michael

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  5. Good stuff, Debra, and so true.
    This is something I have been discovering this year, perhaps 35 years late and after much of that legalistic mumbo jumbo.
    I'd write some more but I wan't to waste some time .. elsewhere..
    hehe
    Peter

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  6. Thanks, Everyone. I really, really enjoyed reading your comments. God bless... Debra

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