The Search for Alive

Usually I don't visit the public library during the whole winter because, always, my books seem to be due on the snowiest, freezingest day of the year or a day I just long to stay home. So instead, I choose books from my own dearly-loved home library.

Well. Yesterday I realized my current book had become boring to me, dead if you will, and I'd been avoiding it. So I walked over to my darling little library here in Debra's World and asked God to show me a book which would be 'alive to me.' Eventually I pulled out Things Left Unspoken by Eva Marie Everson, a book I'd only read once. And wow! What a perfect read for these frigid, snowy days. I'd forgotten pretty much the whole plot so it's like reading a new-to-me book (one advantage of no longer being able to remember anything. heh.)

In other words, that book is alive to me.

I remember spending whole years of my life holding onto dead things while expecting them to still satisfy and delight me the way they once had. Even now I catch myself sitting before the tv watching shows I used to love, but now am only half-interested in, ones just to kill time.

Or I'll try to resuscitate a friendship which died anywhere from 3 to 30 years ago. Or I still belong to groups online that once had meaning for me, but now feel boring. Or I'm still paying for magazines I no longer read, listening to music which, basically, is irritating or I'm doing the same ol' exercises I've done for 15 years.

You know. Too often just going through the motions and keeping dry, dusty ol' traditions. Rather like sitting upon a dead horse while (foolishly) expecting to get to fun, exciting places. Places I used to be and enjoy.

Tsk. Tsk.

But Grace teaches me differently. "Find what's alive for you today," she whispers. And daily that's what I try to do.

The book that keeps my interest. The encouraging email God is nudging me, giving me the words, to write. The tv show I enjoy, rather than just tolerate because there's nothing else to do. The meal I cook which sounds tasty for both Tom and me. The teaching I listen to which oh! Said exactly what I needed to hear. The blog post which feels fitting for me to write this day.

On and on it goes, this search for alive. You've heard, 'God is in the details," and well, I believe He's certainly in this one. God is all about aliveness! And creativity and joy and freedom. He is so not into dull, dark and bored-to-tears.

Uh, no.

So I'll leave you with that to ponder while I get up from here to continue my search for alive. Daily, it's an anticipatory joy to awaken here at Hobbit Cottage. I hope it's the same where you are. Truly.


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