Uh-oh. I have another birthday coming tomorrow. Sheesh, I've still not recovered from turning 50 last year! (I know, I know. You thought I had, right?)

I think it's a control issue thing. Seriously. I can't go back in Time, nor make myself physically younger. Well, to an extent, yes, I can-- you know the actual vs. real age test/thing you can do online. But still, my chronological age will always be older than 50 now and only to an extent can I control my body's aging. Not to mention, I have fewer years left here than the ones I've already lived. (Though, yes! Heaven will be amazing.)

Trust me, I know all of the platitudes: it's just a number, you're only as old as you feel, etc. But I still haven't accepted the big 5-0 as being real, or well, fair, either. Not yet. I need more time, I guess.

Control issues--ack! Isn't it wild how, just when you believe you've conquered something, God zooms in and shows you that, Nope! You've still got a ways to go. You still have more dying to self left to do.

Oh well. There are many things in Life which I can still control. Myself, for one thing. My attitude about Life--and aging-- and people, my Country. God has made self-control available, after all.

I can control what I eat and how much, well, when I let God be in charge. That's also true when it comes to how I spend my time.

And I can control how my house looks, keep my possessions straightened, cleaned and arranged in a calming order. If I want to change the outside of my house and keep my clothesline up, I can (no HOA yard for me). Someday, maybe, but not yet.

Tons of feelings I can control, though some people might disagree. But just because a certain negative thing happens doesn't mean certain feelings must push me around. The real me is in charge of how I feel--not other people's actions, words, a bad economy or who happens to be President or even what the weather happens to be doing. 

I can choose my feelings about Life. I am not helpless.

Yes, I have one great Helper, indeed. Thank-goodness. And He is the one who will help me accept this being 50 thing as only He can.

I've a feeling it will take place shortly after I choose to cooperate with God's plans and ideas about aging. Most of my personal changes happen quite fast when I break down and just cooperate with God.

Imagine that.



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"To everything, there is a season and a time and a purpose under Heaven. A time to be born and a time to die..." From Ecclesiastes 3