Switching Songs

For Christmas, Tom asked for one of Kimberley Locke's CD's so I bought it for him and for nearly one month, in our car, I've played Eighth World Wonder over and over (maybe to infinity, I'm not sure).

 Kimberley's voice and that song, together, do something incredible to my eyes because suddenly, outside my windshield, the grey, bare-tree winter melts into warmth, nearly-green, even a little golden. That voice, that song, somehow, remind me of all that is right with my life. 

May I always remember how good God has treated me.

Remember when I told you that while I lived depressed and pathetic in Nevada, I used to drive through the barren desert and play sad, bleeding-heart songs? Well, while driving home today with movies and lunch in the car and Kimberly Locke's voice in the CD player, I shook my head and laughed at my Nevada years' foolishness. 

I mean, really. Listening to despairing songs in the middle of my depression? That was like having been stabbed once by a stranger, then afterward, stabbing myself again and again each new time I played a lonely, sad song. And to top it off, expecting that listening to those songs would somehow help me out of my depression.

Wow. It's hard to believe that was even me and fortunately, I left that me long ago. 

Step by slow step I walked myself out of depression by making different choices in what I believed and what and who I listened to. And the neat thing is that every right step led me to a little more light--and when your world has been dark a couple years, even the tiniest ray of light is remarkable and encouraging. 

Then after more steps and more light one day you find yourself riding around in your car, like I did today, listening to happy-sounding songs, singing, and even the dreary winter day outside the windows looks amazing.


******


"Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things..." Psalm 98:1

"Even if you can’t sing well, sing. Sing to yourself. Sing in the privacy of your own home. But sing." ... Rebbe Nachman