Of Winter and Surgeries

Tomorrow Tom will have surgery done on his shoulder.

In the eons since our wedding, Tom has had two other surgeries, both on the back of his neck, both in wintertime. 

Winter is not a good time to have surgery. Well k, in a way. There's less going on, at least in our little world where people hibernate inside their homes when snow flies. Sometimes we even have forced hibernation when the newsmen announce you will be ticketed if the police see you driving. Oy!

But I'm rambling. What I want to say is that this time, with this surgery, everything feels different. I mean, I feel different. Usually this time of year feels more like 'Januweary' and my face is pressed against the window glass to absorb any little puny, weak ray of sun peeking through grey snow clouds. Usually I am already counting down days until Spring, whining in my diary about how bleak the bare trees and yards appear and dreading all the weeks ahead when I'll worry each time Tom or Naomi drive on slick roads.

But not this year, for something has changed. Oh, the changes haven't come--poof!--all just this week. No, they began years ago when I stopped relying on everything outside of me to make me happy. Boy, was life one long teeter-totter ride during those first 44 years or so (Hey. These things take time. Don't laugh.).  ツ

Now, instead of acting like an emotional vacuum cleaner trying to suck up all emotional charges from people telling me I'm special and the boosts you get from having friends, money and appreciation, now? Now I get out of bed in the mornings for just one reason--because God is good. And because He is good, it will be a good day inside of me no matter what happens on the outside. 

That's it. When God finally moved up my own personal list of favorite people (it took me decades to put Him there), my life became good. So good, in fact, that even now I can say that January and February are special months, also.

And this January will still be a memorable month even though Tom will have surgery tomorrow, will miss 4 weeks from work and I'll have to do everything for him.  

Still I can repeat this will be a wonderful winter and, truly,you don't understand what a personal miracle it is for me to say that.



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