Sunday, March 20, 2005
Out of the Box
Naomi has moved more than half her possessions into her new apartment and last night was her first night there.
I am so excited for her. I remember the months I lived alone at age 19 in my own little two-story house. I paid just $120 rent per month and even back in 1978 that was a terrific deal. I felt gratitude for God's watchful eye upon me and I was ecstatic to finally be on my own.
To succeed or fail on my own.
To stay up as late as I pleased, even into the wee hours of the morning if that is what I chose.
To bring home paper bags of groceries and place them in my own (old) refrigerator and yellow cupboards.
To decorate my little house however I wanted (albeit with tons of imagination and almost no money).
I had four months on my own in that cozy house in a tiny mountain town, and then Tom and I got married and continued living there. Oh my, there were fireworks as we struggled to live peacefully together, but there was fun, too. We often felt like the kids we actually were, just playing house. Just starting a new adventure together.
I awoke this morning feeling the same way.
I felt giddy. Tom and I are alone again playing house, yet with many pluses we lacked all those years ago.
We now have a history. We've learned to live peacefully together (well, most days).
We are reaping good things from our 26 years of Life Lessons learned.
We have cool stuff. We don't need to save-up for more furniture and things.
We can play our old-fogey music as loudly as we wish (respecting the neighbors, of course).
I get to make my own Dream Room upstairs out of one of Naomi's former rooms.
I get my kitchen all to myself (too many cooks in the kitchen...and all that good stuff.)
And on and on.......
Naomi lived with us for a whole quarter of a century. I feel blessed that she was with us that long, since she was the only child we were able to have 'the old-fashioned way.' We once looked into adoption, but did not feel Grace nudging us to pursue it. So we chose, instead, to just be happy with the one child God gave us.
And that made all the difference. Naomi became the type of child who made us feel like we had two or three children. That's hard to explain, but her creativity and friendliness afforded her many friends who were in and out of our home. And well, Naomi just being Naomi, made our lives so rich--and challenging, too, in ways that made Tom and I grow in wisdom and compassion.
What is my point? (I usually always have one.)
My point is that life with God is amazing. With Him, I don't have to feel a certain way when certain things happen. What would destroy those who've not yet met God, does not have to destroy me. He and I have a history now, too. With Him, I can be happy for my little-girl-all-grown-up and I can be excited for the fresh beginning for Tom and myself.
God does all things well and makes all things new. I don't have to feel this is the end of everything.
I never have to feel how everyone expects me to feel.
And neither do you.
***
"There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning." ... Louis L'Amour
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