Monday, April 11, 2011

Choices! We Nearly Always Have Choices.

So does anybody remember one of Elijah Wood's earliest movies called North? It's about an 11-year-old boy, North, who resents his parents' busyness with their careers and all things unrelated to him, so he runs away and has wild, funny adventures in various countries (if I remember correctly).

His parents, meanwhile, desperately search for him and agree to do a tv interview in hopes that North will see how much they want him back. But the ne'er-do-well interviewer (for reasons I can't recall) doesn't want North to return home, so he begins the interview by telling the parents there's a boy named Hugh who needs a home and would they like him, instead?

The parents then respond with statements like, "We don't want Hugh! We don't want Hugh in our home!" Later the interview airs, though with new questions dubbed-in by the interviewer. So it appears he's asking the parents, "What would you want North to know right now?" To which they're shown replying adamantly, "We don't want Hugh! We would never want Hugh!", which sounds very much like, "We don't want you! We would never want you!"

And of course, North watches that interview on tv and is devastated. He walks away believing his parents don't love him anymore.

Heh. It's really a creative, imaginative, funny movie (you have to watch it to understand) and I recommend it to the quirky amongst you.

Anyway. All these many, many years later, Tom and I still are known to, when a cat or a person does something we didn't want them to, quip, "We don't want Hugh!" and then giggle as though we're the cleverest people on Earth.

Alas. And by way of that explanation, here is the one and only thing I don't like about Facebook. It's a funny thing, actually, unless you have thin skin. It's when you contact an old (or new) friend to become your buddy at Facebook, but through probably a myriad of reasons, it takes months for them to approve your request for Facebook friendship. Months! (Usually, it's because they're new to all this, it's an oversight or they sign-up then never darken Facebook's doors again.)

But! What happens during all those months is that--whenever they approve other friends--it's announced on your home page.

"Little Miss Muffet became friends with Jack Sprat Who Could Eat No Fat."

It's like the announcement 'bleeds through' to your page, even though no other status reports of any kind appear if you are not Mistress Mary's official friend(!) So for months you read:

"Little Miss Muffet became friends with Jane Doe" (the most popular woman in church)
"Little Miss Muffet became friends with Mistress Mary Quite Contrary" (your old nemesis from high school)

And of course, it's a bothersome thing to see your old friend, Little Miss Muffet, becoming Facebook friends with every Tom, Dick and Harry who is not you.

Or should I say who is not Hugh. heh. Because that's how I've trained myself to see this annoying Facebook oversight. I just smile and say, "Little Miss Muffet doesn't want Hugh! Little Miss Muffet never wanted Hugh!"

Oh, how good it feels when we choose not to get offended! For always, becoming offended is a personal choice. No really, it is. I can choose to believe there's a logical, reasonable explanation for an unanswered email, an ignored wave or unkind words (as in, "hurting people hurt other people," a quote I love). Or I can also choose to believe somehow, somewhere there was a lack of communication and wires got crossed and I got left out accidentally.

I can always choose to believe the very best about anyone, or of course, I can choose to act six-years-old and make squeaky vows to never, ever speak to them again. Harumph.

But as for me and myself, I will try extremely hard to always choose to believe the very best.


I've found something that often works at Facebook when it takes people ages to approve my request for friendship. I do the "Poke" thing and that usually wakes them right up. Usually brings a favorable response within a day or two. Alas. :)


Matthew 24:10
And then shall many be offended, and shall betray one another, and shall hate one another.


Oh! Just now checked out North on Netflix and it's on instant view...yay!


Judy said...

Oooo. I LOVE 'Hugh' very very much!

Debra said...

Judy--I love Hugh, too! :)

Thanks for reading and commenting...

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, Facebook...don't get me started on THAT!! My theory is that generally those who have wanted to stay in contact, HAVE STAYED in contact. I am sure that sometimes that is not the case...but it reminds me of a fellow student in my hubby's class in high school (a grand total of 18 students...private school). Hubby gets out of the Navy after 6 years and goes to look up this guy (he was an usher at our wedding too) thing in that visit that the guy said was: "I keep in contact with THOSE I WANT TO KEEP IN CONTACT WITH!!" OK...we caught the drift...NO MORE CONTACT!! SNOOTY, SNOOTY, SNOOTY!! Did you ever read Dr. Seuss's book called The Sneetches? I LOVE that one...because it tells the story of one town we lived in for almost 15 long, horrid years!! Dr. Seuss MUST have also lived there at one time. Best book on stuckup people I ever read (and keeping up with the Joneses too). I have read this book to my grandchildren and taught them what it means. Some of Dr. Seuss' books have great meaning. We have REAL friends who desire MORE of our time in this reason to look for rejecting people I say!!

One thing nice about the internet, blogs, etc is finding "kindred spirits"...I have so enjoyed that part of it...but by choice, have left Facebook alone.
Blessings, Elizabeth in NC

Debra said...

Elizabeth--I'm sorry you feel that way about Facebook. I find it kind of odd, actually, that you believe kindred spirits can be found in blogs and other internet places, but not at Facebook. Wasn't it also Dr. Suess who said, "People are people wherever you go?"

Just as they say you shouldn't judge all churches (or doctors or pastors) by just one, I also firmly believe you shouldn't judge all of Facebook by one cranky person.

Because of frequent moving around in three different states throughout my life, I lost contact over decades with many dear people. Facebook has reunited me with many dear old friends with whom I'm so thankful to be in touch with again--and I am very grateful for God's goodness in leading me back to them.

Just my thoughts..... Debra

Lisa said...

I must admit I'm a Facebook junkie, my family and friends are scattered far and wide and we all keep in contact through FB. We still take time to call and chat but it's nice to have a little "Hello" each day from those you love. PS my high school nemesis asked to friend me - HUGE decision - but I said yes and you know what- she and I have actually grownup and mellowed in the past 25 yrs.

Anonymous said...

Debra, Things are likely never as simplistic as one might think...there are more reasons NOT to be on Facebook than I mentioned...good reasons NOT...and I am glad for you if you are happy there...each one of us go through different places in life. The main problem for me personally with Facebook is due to kin. Some people use every snippet of information they find about a person and use it as a sword. So it keeps me feeling happier with them and not dealing with bad feelings stay away from where they tend to be...and that is Facebook. They have posted photos on there with me in them, that I was never asked if I wanted to be on the internet...some I had never seen from over 30 years ago...even though at the time we lived in the same town, etc. It is hard to explain...but it just plain gives me strange feelings whatever are they up to?...I have a friend who has seen them, sent to me via email, etc. (I did not ASK her to do so...but she did, not knowing "the rest of the story"). If you are blessed with better kin, you can be most grateful. Like I said, if you are happy there...glad for you!! But is not best for everyone.

People are people everywhere, I general. But if you would like to see for yourself about that town, I will be happy to tell you where it is, so you can!! I could write a book...I never knew such places existed. I have lived in 5 states in my 58+ years, 13 towns...been around some. Here is one clue...the first question people in this hellish town would ask you was: "How long have you been here?" and the 2nd clue was a street named Newcomer. I would put on my running shoes and make tracks out of a place like that if ever I had the misfortune to live in such a place again. I will tell you, the one year in Paradise was my 14th year when we lived in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho...not only beautiful but with the most wonderful people I have ever met, some I still have contact with yet!! What contrasts!! And strangely enough the Paradise town was only about 3-4 hour drive away from the hellish one!! Who could have known? Life holds so many experiences...the very bad, but also the very good. I will go to my grave FOREVER GRATEFUL for that one year in Coeur d'Alene!!! It made such a difference in my life!! And living here now has been a fun town too...just SUPER SUPER hot in summer...but thankfully we have air conditioning!! It feels like we live in a campground, surrounded by pine trees as we are. What could beat that in beauty? When people ask me how I like it here I always say, It is GREEN here, and green is a good color!! HA...and of course, the fall is spectacular too. Lovely.
Blessings, Elizabeth in NC