Friday, March 21, 2008

I know, I know...

I disappeared again. It's just that I've had a lot on my mind. A whole lot. Fragmented, up-in-the-air, bits and pieces of stuff which I can't articulate--or if I did--it would confuse you out of two years of your life. Heh.

But I'll tell you about one part. Tom and I walked through a 1940's kinda-cottage house on Tuesday, one on a huge parcel of land. Four bedrooms, one-and-a-half baths and a family room. A double car garage with a loft, even (a very rickety loft, though) and way out in the 'back 40' there's a little greenhouse, or mostly just the frame of one. Always, I've wanted a greenhouse.

It's an estate house and the adult children just want to get rid of it-- they'd probably come down on the already-fair asking price, especially (the realtor told us) if we had it inspected and she gave them the official list of its faults.

But I don't know. I loved it, but I didn't love it. I told Tom he'd have to promise not to even mention moving to another state for at least two years. He promised, but still.... I know him better than he knows himself--he's got gypsy blood. And if we stayed just two years, they'd be two years of hard, noisy work... and did I mention that the house has 1,900 square feet and that it sits on probably an acre? (I think I'm tired already just considering the work...)
And yet? I need a challenge. This tiny apartment, I realize, is too small for the bubbling creativity within me. And too, I like to think about having my mom come and stay for extended periods of time and I know she'd love to help. (When we left her following my dad's memorial service, we made her promise she would not climb up on her roof to make repairs alone. At nearly 70, she still enjoys construction.)

We'd be pouring money into that place, and too, I'm wanting to move to the country (it's a very desirable street) to live in peaceful quietness, but we'd hardly have that. Already I can see and hear all the cigarette-toting construction workers we'd need, each with hammers and electric saws. They'd be like members of the family, they'd be around so much.

Well, anyway.... You know how it is when you're back in the market for a house. It's almost all you can think about. Except that I don't want it to be, for I'm always preaching about balance and it's important to me that I practice what I preach.

So we'll see... In the meantime, I may tell you about fifty 'possibility houses' but please take each one with a grain of salt. And if I'm not here everyday, you'll know where I will be... Here inside this tiny apartment dreaming about a larger home, but one not too large... and standing at the windows wishing for Spring...
...and keeping quiet to hear from the One who knows exactly the move we should make next.
P.S. Thanks so much for all your kind birthday wishes! I so appreciated each one.


Kristi in the Western Reserve said...

Grace will gently lead you where you need to go. Gently and slowly.....Best of luck to you both.

Anonymous said...

What happened to moving to North Carolina? I thought Tom was getting a job transfer? I'm confused...sorry.