Saturday, May 26, 2007

That Home-From-School Feeling



Opening my eyes early this morning, the Happy Birthday tune popped into my head, but with these words: "Happy Suzy Homemaker Day to you... Happy Suzy Homemaker Day to you..." Etc.

Yep, it's one of my rare Home Alone Days because Tom is working day shift. I can make as much noise as I wish-- I can play the radio in the living room and switch the tv on in the kitchen and turn another tv or radio on upstairs. If I want. I can sit at the computer anytime, eat lunch or not eat lunch and just relax outside and read and read and watch the folks around my neighborhood.

But my aim on most Suzy Homemaker Days is to create that Home-From-School feeling... that feeling I had whole decades ago when I'd be home sick from school or home on holidays. I remember my mom stepping about the house, cleaning, while I'd watch game shows and I Love Lucy and the sun would shine through the windows at a certain slant. There was that luxurious feeling that I'd escaped from that desk in kid prison, and if it was a holiday, the knowledge that I could play outside with friends.

On Home-From-School days, the air felt different, I felt different, Life felt different.

And well, like I said, I try to create a similar feeling on my rare Suzy Homemaker Days. I mind cleaning even less on these days because having a clean home (clean towels and sinks and sheets and floors) only adds to the overall old-fashioned air I'm aiming for.

(I'm really hoping at least some of you know what I'm talking about. It's kind-of hard to explain this.)

I think many of us go around trying to recapture certain good feelings way more than we realize. We return to certain places believing it was the place which made us happy, when actually, it was the conversations and the closeness we felt to the person(s) with whom we visited that place. We buy certain things for the good feelings we believe they'll bring. At times I sit on my porch and reread a book which I recall as being a great read, but it's not quite the same because the weather and how I'm feeling and all the details of my life are different now--so my time on the porch is different this time, too.

Even if I could line-up all the earlier details as best as I could, still something would have changed--because every day I am changing. What made me happy months ago doesn't always make me happy now.

There's a certain freedom in realizing that... in ceasing to attempt to cling to the past and expecting ourselves and our friends to always be as we once were. And so on these Suzy Homemaker Days of mine--although I'm going after a certain retro-ish feeling from my past--the ways I'm doing that are always changing. After all, I'm no longer that little girl home from school--I'm a million changes away from her.

So I'll just hang-out with God around my house today and go where He and Grace go and enjoy their company and follow my heart and we'll all --together--make it the very best day that we can. And after all, there's a type of joy which trumps my changing feelings any day... a joy which doesn't depend upon circumstances, but upon a God who never changes.... and my friendship with Him.


***

Psalm 144:15
"...Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!" ...

"The only way I wouldn’t see God is if I stopped looking."
- Dvora Weisberg

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