Thursday, May 03, 2007

Different Kinds of Faithfulness

You perhaps noticed I took a tiny blogging break. I've been trying to turn this house into one grand, cozy place which various families will argue over because they all desire to buy it so much.... heh...

All these unfinished details! I'm learning, well, relearning, how tiring procrastination can be when you must finish all those tasks you put-off for years. It's funny that you grow to accept undone things, walk past them for some months and then just not see them anymore. But it's no longer humorous when they must all be finally completed in just two weeks.

But now that 7-inch piece of molding needs to be put up in the dining room and that peeling patch on the bathroom ceiling needs to be sanded and painted and the guest room needs to be emptied of junk and the front flower beds must be finished and bordered the right way, not Debra's haphazard way. Etc, etc., etc. And all by Saturday when the realtor comes.

So anyway. Through all this patching and fixing and painting, I've remained sane and peaceful (well, mostly) because of a certain understanding of faithfulness. During my early life I believed faithfulness meant seeing what you started through to completion--doing something good even when you were exhausted and didn't feel like doing it. Working on whatever it was every single day of your life until you became good at it and/or finished it.

And well, faithfulness can mean those things, of course.

But there's another kind of faithfulness I prefer and that's the faithfulness to do whatever God is asking me to do--or not do--today. A faithfulness regarding just obedience for Today. There's a faithfulness where I listen to his 'flight plan' in the morning and just obey Him, even if what He says makes no sense. Even if He says, "Take a break from your blog," and my head is asking, "But won't I lose readers that way? Won't I appear unfaithful to blogging, the writing process or the caring that my readers have something when they click here?"

But it's a different kind of faithfulness when I follow God's voice and not the driven voice of my it's-always-got-to-be-a-certain-way head. And there's a voice of the world which has it's own thoughts about being faithful to a thing, as opposed to a Person--and what that faithfulness should look like.

But God's ways are not my ways and they're certainly not the world's ways, either. God's ways are balanced, non-overwhelming and don't send me over the edge into craziness because I drove myself beyond my capabilities, strength and sanity. God's ways don't shove me over into a stressful, frustrating race down the path to complicated insanity or uncomplicated grouchiness.

God's ways give me a break. Since He created me, God knows exactly how much I can handle and He provides Grace for every task and project He gives me--but only for those--not for the ones I dream-up or careen into because I could not say no... because I thought my ways were better or appeared more faithful to all people watching.

I've had to relearn and unlearn much from my early days, but the unlearning and relearning has led me to a much calmer, more fruitful--and faithful--daily place. A place where, amazingly, I get more accomplished with less time and energy because God's ways are wise ways... He makes every move count... He knows what's on the agenda for tomorrow, letting me know today what to do to prepare for those surprises.

Now, if I'd just stop procrastinating all those hints!

Matthew 11:30
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

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