Friday, July 14, 2006
Job Update (Sort-of)
Warning: This post may freak some of you out. If you are the type of person who believes everything must be A Certain Way, well, deal with it.
Dr. Phil is always saying that when couples are having problems agreeing on something, they should come up with a plan they both can get excited about. Well, last night, Tom and I came up with that plan.
After going around and around (and around) about this job offer he's received in (that very bad state), Tom is still seriously considering taking the job anyway. Even though I have zero peace about it and even though, after three days, neither of us can think of one single, solitary good thing in it for me(!)
So last night--poof! A plan came to us, one we both feel we can live with, should Tom actually get that job.
I'll start it like this: For nearly 20 years, Tom has occasionally had opportunities to take temporary power plant jobs in such hip, family-friendly places like Saudi Arabia, Mexico, Egypt, St. Lucia, etc.... huh.... In nearly all those cases, he wouldn't have been able to take myself or Naomi along with him--family was usually 'against the rules.' And well, always he's turned those jobs down, but only after I had to ask him to please consider my feelings and those of his young daughter. And always it's like this light has gone out of his eyes afterward.
And also through the years, he's taken business trips to various states here in the U.S. and has absolutely loved those. This last trip in April, being the best example--he lived on a happy cloud the whole 2 weeks he was away helping to start up a new plant outside of Queens, NY.
Okay, enough of the history lesson... here is our Dr. Phil Plan:
Should Tom get that job in (that terrible state where I would be a fish out of water), he would go alone.
We would view it as one of those temporary jobs to another country which he passed up.
He would work there for a maximum of two years (which is what he was thinking in the first place and then had planned to have us move all over again after that short time. Good grief.)
He would rent a furnished apartment and I would stay here in our house and keep working on it and getting it ready to sell at the end of those two years when we'd get something we both wanted.
Okay... so, like, how many of you fainted? Be honest.
We sat down last night and were actually a little giddy about this. Finally we were both happy about making future plans. And Tom was relieved that we'd not have to go through the awful hassle of selling this house, getting rid of half of what we own, and moving it all across the United States--all by September.
And as for finances, we carefully listed all the bills and expenses we'd have--and wonder of wonders--we'd have plenty money leftover each month to add to our savings, even with Tom making occasional plane trips back here. He'd have a company car out there, I would use our car. We'd email a lot. And phone.
Again, both of us were excited about this... though, yes, it was a little bittersweet, too, that we'd even consider such a thing. But truly, it restored harmony and peace and a sense of anticipation--all of which had pretty much flown outside our windows this week.
And of course, none of this may ever happen in the first place. After all, he doesn't even have the job yet, but he has decided to pursue it, though, and he'll have a business lunch with the powers-that-be next week to further discuss it (which, at first, made me feel pretty darn helpless).
People have to do what people have to do. And if this has finally brought peace of mind to both of us, well then, that's what is important. For years I've tried to only follow peace and now, finally, I've got some peace once again to follow.
P.S. If you are tempted to freak-out in my comment box, please wait a day or more to calm down. And I'd appreciate not seeing any "my-aunt's-cousin's-sister's-friend-did-that-years-ago-and-it-was-a-disaster" stories. I've been around. Nearly half a century, in fact. Again, none of this may ever take place! I'm just letting you in on a private conversation.